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So this is really weird.  I feel very comforted since finding this site, but I feel like I've joined a secret society of outcasts and pariahs.  It's like some underground meeting for me when I get on this site because if the people I'm with knew what is wrong with me, they would totally change to me. These two concepts are driving me nuts because i'm totally comforted in one instance and then depressed and alone in the next moment because I know I'm alone.  I'm kind of manic right now and i'm racing.  while writing this (with all 800 backspaces) I have looked up a song that totally rocks LITHIUM by EVENASCENCE.  It totally summs up my fear of meds.