wondering when the day will come where somwtrhing will help me, or more appealing when I leave this earth, and get to b set free of all this shit I'm dealing wit atm. I can't do this anymore. I'm breaking. I'm completly broken inside, it's just i keep that hidden, so i can help other people. I wnna alwys b the person that people can rely on, and have a laugh wit. L8tly thats been impossible because i keep how i feel hidden n try n have a laugh wit them, but inside i wnna cry. I hate having depression cuz it's not who i am, I wish my real self would b stronger than depression but obviously not. I wnna b the person who can dela wit the problems myself, so i can mke other people feel better by helping them n ignoring mine. Its gettin to the point where my body is worn out, but my mind never sleeps. Increases the pain every night. I don't even cry anymore, i have no tears left. Crying i c as a wekness so i don't do it, and I punish myself if i do it, cuz thats also not me. :(