had my first day off in 34 days yesterday.
went to the occoquan to watch carlos and my dad race.
carlos' double partner forgot the seats to the boat, so they had to scratch...but it was nice spending the day together at the occoquan watching races and walking around.
got a nice fall suntan on my face too.
dad had two races. got first in both.
i really despise one of the coxswains on capital. she is very annoying and doesnt shut the fuck up. biggest mouth ever and knows jack shit.
there is a new coxswain at captail who is very nice- natalie. it's weird though because she is 22 and just graduated from simmons college, though i swear she looks much older than me! she is very nice and down to earth- i got good vibes from her....and thats hard for me to get good vibes from another coxswain. there are 3 coxswains...actually 4 that i have been on teams with and actually get along with really well. hah. 2 were at ithaca (one was my best friend and the other was on the men's team). and 2 at captital...and potentially natalie is number 5. wow!
i do have to say that while we were down at the occoquan i definitely kept to myself and was not the outgoing me by the Captail trailer- i felt out of place and like i didnt belong since i wasn't coxing. I also definitely did compare myself to all the other coxswains...size wise.
still have been feeling very down and crying. defintiely noticed my food has been slacking around meals, but i have made it up via snacks during the day.
went to the occoquan to watch carlos and my dad race.
carlos' double partner forgot the seats to the boat, so they had to scratch...but it was nice spending the day together at the occoquan watching races and walking around.
got a nice fall suntan on my face too.
dad had two races. got first in both.
i really despise one of the coxswains on capital. she is very annoying and doesnt shut the fuck up. biggest mouth ever and knows jack shit.
there is a new coxswain at captail who is very nice- natalie. it's weird though because she is 22 and just graduated from simmons college, though i swear she looks much older than me! she is very nice and down to earth- i got good vibes from her....and thats hard for me to get good vibes from another coxswain. there are 3 coxswains...actually 4 that i have been on teams with and actually get along with really well. hah. 2 were at ithaca (one was my best friend and the other was on the men's team). and 2 at captital...and potentially natalie is number 5. wow!
i do have to say that while we were down at the occoquan i definitely kept to myself and was not the outgoing me by the Captail trailer- i felt out of place and like i didnt belong since i wasn't coxing. I also definitely did compare myself to all the other coxswains...size wise.
still have been feeling very down and crying. defintiely noticed my food has been slacking around meals, but i have made it up via snacks during the day.
Replies
good and bad journal. nice time with carlos and dad and the sun, but bad on your down mood and food. haoppy you are supplementing with snacks. i wonder why your mood is staying so low, i hope it gets better soon. hugss
I\'m glad you had a good day off work. You certainly deserve a break.
Comparing is such poison but such a bad habit to break. When I do it I try to remind myself that it is really so superficial and unimportant - just a waste of time.