Been having and still am having REALLY BAD body image thoughts.
Cringing at the sight of myself.
Many thoughts of wanting to decrease and not follow my meal plan.
Lots of uncomfortable feelings when wearing clothes. I am hating the touch/feel of everything on my body. I can't stand it. Almost turned around half way to a meeting tonight to change pants because i couldn't stand the feeling of them.
Lots of self-harm thoughts.
Extremely tired.
Chipped a tooth at the coaches and captains dinner tonight. Literally my tooth touched the fork and snap. Now I am even more self conscious. Its the tooth to the right next to my upper two front teeth. I have never chipped a tooth before. I hate the feeling of it and it is really sharp. I feel like a hill billy right now.
All in all.....very disgusted with myself.
But at the same time I had a pretty good day today while I was outside and busy doing things. Carlos and I even went to the grocery store together- we NEVER do that. And after I remembered why....he is literally like a kid in the candy shop grabbing everything off the shelves that he thinks looks yummy.
Cringing at the sight of myself.
Many thoughts of wanting to decrease and not follow my meal plan.
Lots of uncomfortable feelings when wearing clothes. I am hating the touch/feel of everything on my body. I can't stand it. Almost turned around half way to a meeting tonight to change pants because i couldn't stand the feeling of them.
Lots of self-harm thoughts.
Extremely tired.
Chipped a tooth at the coaches and captains dinner tonight. Literally my tooth touched the fork and snap. Now I am even more self conscious. Its the tooth to the right next to my upper two front teeth. I have never chipped a tooth before. I hate the feeling of it and it is really sharp. I feel like a hill billy right now.
All in all.....very disgusted with myself.
But at the same time I had a pretty good day today while I was outside and busy doing things. Carlos and I even went to the grocery store together- we NEVER do that. And after I remembered why....he is literally like a kid in the candy shop grabbing everything off the shelves that he thinks looks yummy.
Replies
OMG, Carlos sounds so like Dwayne. I don\'t let him come because we would be broke in no time with him shopping.
Sounds like you are going through some rough times with ed. It\'s such a trial isn\'t it. I\'m wearing jeans instead of shorts today for the first time and I dread it so much that I would like to cancel my coffee date just because of the discomfort I will feel. Please don\'t give into the urges because that will make you feel like a total champ in a little while that you resisted the bad choices.
Sorry about your tooth. Are you gonna get it fixed?
omg, the pants issue, i hate it, i always feel so restricted and uncomfortable. why did jeans getinvented? i buy mine bigger so i dont feel like my waist is squezzed, ughhh lots of sweats at home. bummer about the tooth, are you fixing it? ed is so evil and will not give up trying to penetrate and make you cave. stand tall, kick him in the balls, you dont want or need him anymore!
Does ed have balls? ehehehhehe
I talked to my father just now and we decided that I need to make a dental appointment regardless because I missed the last once since I was at reflections.
I cant stand the way it feels. it\'s so sharp :(