Today was good- I kept busy and even visited my friend who is in the ED unit at Reflections. We had a grand time chatting, ect.
Afterwards I did some errands and then met up with my parents to look for some new lighting fixtures for their remodeled kitchen, it was fun. Came back to my apartment, found a place to eat and went off to dinner.
At I was flustered because I had no hunger and didn't know what to pick off the menu. So Carlos and I settled something. We went to this awesome place that I have been wanting to go (walking distance from our apt). I was so anxious and had to hold my tears back at dinner while choosing the meal- I had no idea what to do because of course while choosing my mom kept say '2 pounds girl. just 2 pounds. pack it in baby'. Carlos ordered a large pizza and I ordered a large salad and we decided to split it. I had 1 piece of pizza, half the salad and then offered some salad to carlos. He took like 2 bites and that was it. He doesn't like the crust of pizza and I love it, so I had 3 of his crusts and finished my salad. I thought I was good. Then another piece of pizza was sent my way. I said no and I was overfull and had eating enough. Not a good answer. So I ate the other piece of fucking pizza. I thought I was going to blow up.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and while in there I wanted to purge, I started to. Then stoped because I had a feeling my mother would come following me. Guess what, as I was walking back to the table my mother was going to the restroom to check on me. she said 'I was sent to check on you'. WTF. When I got back to my table I said, so I see you sent mom to check on me. Then both denied. WTF. nNo one wants to say whose idea it was. Now I was really pissed. then when mom got back she said, so which stall were you in- i looked in them all. FUCK seriously? omg so freaking annoying.
BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Afterwards I did some errands and then met up with my parents to look for some new lighting fixtures for their remodeled kitchen, it was fun. Came back to my apartment, found a place to eat and went off to dinner.
At I was flustered because I had no hunger and didn't know what to pick off the menu. So Carlos and I settled something. We went to this awesome place that I have been wanting to go (walking distance from our apt). I was so anxious and had to hold my tears back at dinner while choosing the meal- I had no idea what to do because of course while choosing my mom kept say '2 pounds girl. just 2 pounds. pack it in baby'. Carlos ordered a large pizza and I ordered a large salad and we decided to split it. I had 1 piece of pizza, half the salad and then offered some salad to carlos. He took like 2 bites and that was it. He doesn't like the crust of pizza and I love it, so I had 3 of his crusts and finished my salad. I thought I was good. Then another piece of pizza was sent my way. I said no and I was overfull and had eating enough. Not a good answer. So I ate the other piece of fucking pizza. I thought I was going to blow up.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom and while in there I wanted to purge, I started to. Then stoped because I had a feeling my mother would come following me. Guess what, as I was walking back to the table my mother was going to the restroom to check on me. she said 'I was sent to check on you'. WTF. When I got back to my table I said, so I see you sent mom to check on me. Then both denied. WTF. nNo one wants to say whose idea it was. Now I was really pissed. then when mom got back she said, so which stall were you in- i looked in them all. FUCK seriously? omg so freaking annoying.
BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Replies
I am so proud of you for going out and about and for having pizza!! First just be happy that you took that step... your parents and Carlos are worried...but yet should not be doing that.. Maybe you need to sit down with Carlos and just put down some boundaries... I know i have said this before but I really think you should put some space between you and carlos and your parents... just a thought, It sure has helped me become more solid but Just a thought... and I am happy you had a good day, think of the positives!
I just want to slap your mom. She is such an ass - sorry, but she makes me so fucking mad. I think what you ate on your own was fantastic, no need to have them stuff the 2nd piece of pizza down your throat. I\'m glad you didn\'t purge. You did super. Can\'t they send your mom overseas or somewhere in the jungle???
I WISH KARIN!
you did a great job eating what you did with the crusts and salad, esp. since you werent hungry. i would go out of my fricking mind putting up with the other shit. your not a baby, you know when your full and cant believe she did that, well yes i do and sadly you did eat it. i so feel you need to build your backbone up with your mother and not do what she says or listen to her shit. kudos on not purging!!!!
thanks! now i have to admit something. friday night i had ice cream and i purged. and man was it fucked up, i did it in the fucking kitchen sink
that\'s pretty gross