i sent the last journal to my dad...he responded...
carlos text me and said we are going to go to the movies...im so confused
daddy's response:
"Steff,
First, everyone needs someone they can confide in and talk frankly with. I don't see it as being needy and I don't feel like you are running for attention. Maybe at one time I did, but not now. You just need someone to share with what you are feeling. Of course, there needs to be boundaries. Like not calling really late at night unless it is an emergency.
I am more than happy to be that person. You have been using Joanna as that person but she can't be there 24/7 and she is your Therapist not your buddy or family. So she has to maintain even stricter boundaries. I am sure she received your email, thought to herself that it was positive, and restrained from responding because that might engage additional conversations when those conversations should be during the sessions. Perhaps at the next session you could suggest that when you send her an email all she needs to do is respond saying she received it and that's it. You send it not to engage in discussion but to make sure you get it out while it is fresh in your mind. Then you know she got it and not wondering about why she didn't respond. But then again, she might just say for you to send it to yourself then print it out and bring it with you. If so, then that is just the way it has to be.
As for the weight, I am confident that when you get to the healthy weight zone, you will be able to throttle back and stay within that zone. People are going to say that you are looking healthier and that hopefully will be a positive reinforcement that you are doing the right thing. You said all the right things in the email about it is going to be hard but it is something you have to do. So you are on the right path. Just keep climbing the mountain, one square inch at a time and moving forward,
You will learn to control your emotions. You know how some people will cry at movies and some people don't. Whatever is in those people who cry, you apparently have an overabundance of it. At one time you had some medication that countered it but apparently it is no longer working. That is why I think it is a good idea you try another doctor which you are doing on Tuesday. We will eventually crack this case.
Mom is calling me now to go out to dinner. We can email some more when I get home.
PB"
carlos text me and said we are going to go to the movies...im so confused
daddy's response:
"Steff,
First, everyone needs someone they can confide in and talk frankly with. I don't see it as being needy and I don't feel like you are running for attention. Maybe at one time I did, but not now. You just need someone to share with what you are feeling. Of course, there needs to be boundaries. Like not calling really late at night unless it is an emergency.
I am more than happy to be that person. You have been using Joanna as that person but she can't be there 24/7 and she is your Therapist not your buddy or family. So she has to maintain even stricter boundaries. I am sure she received your email, thought to herself that it was positive, and restrained from responding because that might engage additional conversations when those conversations should be during the sessions. Perhaps at the next session you could suggest that when you send her an email all she needs to do is respond saying she received it and that's it. You send it not to engage in discussion but to make sure you get it out while it is fresh in your mind. Then you know she got it and not wondering about why she didn't respond. But then again, she might just say for you to send it to yourself then print it out and bring it with you. If so, then that is just the way it has to be.
As for the weight, I am confident that when you get to the healthy weight zone, you will be able to throttle back and stay within that zone. People are going to say that you are looking healthier and that hopefully will be a positive reinforcement that you are doing the right thing. You said all the right things in the email about it is going to be hard but it is something you have to do. So you are on the right path. Just keep climbing the mountain, one square inch at a time and moving forward,
You will learn to control your emotions. You know how some people will cry at movies and some people don't. Whatever is in those people who cry, you apparently have an overabundance of it. At one time you had some medication that countered it but apparently it is no longer working. That is why I think it is a good idea you try another doctor which you are doing on Tuesday. We will eventually crack this case.
Mom is calling me now to go out to dinner. We can email some more when I get home.
PB"
Replies
Two things: Your Dad is a wise man.
I wish I ever had a parent like that, almost makes me cry.
have fun at the movies
I 100 percent agree with your dad that everyone needs someone to vent too and you have that safety between your dad. It\'s not you being needy so I am very proud of you sending this and love that he talked about boundaries. You are taking the small steps forward in the big marathon keep going!!
thanks.
so wanna hear the funny thing. WE ENDED UP NOT GOING TO THE MOVIES. but i for once picked a really good movie on netflix and carlos actually really liked it....after 2 hours into it he wanted to go to bed...i wanted to finish it....then i saw there was still over an hour left!!! ahh!!! we went to bed! lol
what a great dad, and so insightfull. he gave you good ideas and advice, set boundaries and loves you so much. we all need someone to talk to and vent our feelings.
Your Dad sounds so AWESOME! You can tell how much he loves you and I would use him more for support. He sounds like he has an understanding as to what you are going through but can also help challenge you when needed.