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I am now at my parents house and was just looking At baby pictures. My mother then said to me that I have no reason to be depressed and that I bring it upon myself. It's all self made. She said she gave me everything and there is no reason to be depressed.

I started crying and still am. I am way to emotional than I should be. This is going to be a week from hell. Since getting here it's Been one comment after another. I want to get the fuck out but the inlaws are coming.

I think I need separation from her.

As I continue to look through photos I continue to cry. There are so many pictures of me with my dad, oma and opa...but much less of my mom and I.

I then purged after dinner. I purged yesterday as well...and cut.

I'm done. I quit.

Replies

deleted_user 07/05/2011
im so sorry I got it wrong about your mum ......x

tuxedomck 07/05/2011
what do you mean?

deleted_user 07/05/2011
when i said last week before reading through your journals that you are lucky to have a great relationship with your parents, teach me to read up before commenting x

tuxedomck 07/05/2011
Hahaha it\'s all good. I have a great relationship with my dad.

deleted_user 07/05/2011
You can\'t ever be too emotional, Steff. Don\'t let them take your feelings away from you. Your mother feels major guilty, that\'s why she\'s telling you this shit. This is the first time you say you need separation. That is awesome progress. Sorry about the purges and cutting. It\'s so sad but don\'t give up.

ann54 07/06/2011
so good to read that you recognize you need seperation. that is huge, and i hope you will find the strength to do it. no one can take away or make you feel bad for being emotional, it is far better to cry and let it out then holding it in. i hope you can get the purging and cutting back under control, hugsss

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