Dead tired again. Weighed in at #98.8 this morning. Thank Goodness! I was terrified that it was going to go up a lot because of this past weekend and all the nasty fattening foods I ate. I really have no desire to do anything today. Didn't want to walk dogs, didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to go to Joanna and now I really don't want to go to class.
During my session with Joanna I was not very happy. Only near the end did we determine what mostly was going on with me. A very similar situation ocurred when I went to South Carolina for Spring Training this year. I am making myself miserable prior to a difficult time. We all know that next week and the following one are going to be really hard on me because I will not see Joanna for two full weeks. So basically I make myself miserable piror to whatever situation so that I can get the pain done with and that when whatever situation occurs it cannot possiboy be as bad as piror.
Going along the same lines, since I had so many great days last week, I need to have some really bad days. My mind always feels as though I should not be allowed many great days without bad ones. I do not deserve that to always be happy. Basically for every good day I have, I must have a bad day.
This we Joanna said that we need to keep an eye out for me self-sabbatoging myself.
During my session with Joanna I was not very happy. Only near the end did we determine what mostly was going on with me. A very similar situation ocurred when I went to South Carolina for Spring Training this year. I am making myself miserable prior to a difficult time. We all know that next week and the following one are going to be really hard on me because I will not see Joanna for two full weeks. So basically I make myself miserable piror to whatever situation so that I can get the pain done with and that when whatever situation occurs it cannot possiboy be as bad as piror.
Going along the same lines, since I had so many great days last week, I need to have some really bad days. My mind always feels as though I should not be allowed many great days without bad ones. I do not deserve that to always be happy. Basically for every good day I have, I must have a bad day.
This we Joanna said that we need to keep an eye out for me self-sabbatoging myself.
Replies
I do the same but not because I think I deserve it. I just think that that\'s how life works. Good has to be followed by bad, so I\'m always dreading the future. I hope to one day get to a point where i can just stay in the day and enjoy it. Glad you recognized that pattern and hope you and joanna can work something out.
that was a big insight you had with joanna. i think it is common to a lot of people, dreading, anticpatiting a bad day coming up, going away etc... i always feel extra worse and anxious before holidays, when people would ask me out etc... and most of the time the actual day or event wasnt half as bad as i thought it would be. yet i still do it. i dont consciously think if i have a good day i must have a bad day, i figure its just the course of life and thier will be good and bad. you deserve all the good days you can get.