11 months

I did not forget your eleven months anniversary sweets, I just had one of the worst days since you passed, it has taken me all of this long to get myself together well enough to write this post. I had an altercation with my sister on the day, where she looked me straight in the eyes and said..because "you didnt laugh, hahaha, or cry, you don't count". The horror of that cruelty sent me downsuch a spiral, my world only just stopped spinning today. You know, I am fully convinced, that your coming into my life is by far one of the best things that has ever happened to me...I am so so proud to be your mummy, much more than even the sadness of losing you..your life mattered, you were and always will be dearly loved and fondly remembered..as long as I am alive, my baby you'll be! Your fisrt birthday s fast approaching, and the anxiety within me is building pace, Its like a big storm is brewing and dark clouds are gathering. I am even working through the holidays, paying it forward for that time next month when I suspect the floods are going to sweep me away, i wont be in position to do any meaningful work. I am grateful to God for keeping me sane through these past 11 months when I should have lost m mind, and I am trusting him to carry us through the coming days. Love from your mummy!