What is wrong with me?  Why am I like this?  I cry for no apparent reason..and I'm sooooo tired...but of course I cannot sleep..not when the anxiety comes.  Made through most of the camping weekend and not until I headed home did the anxiety start...then I found out he's going to be gone all week before I have to leave town.  Now I have to figure out how to get home between work and school and I have a quiz this week and if i'm late to class I won't be able to re-take it.  I guess these are the things I have to figure out if I am going to ever be by myself.  Why am I even going to school when I know I won't finish anyway...why do I even bother to write all this stuff down?  so I can look back and re-read them and realize absolutely nothing changes or gets any better?  People try to offer encouragement to one another here...but it's all for nothing.  I cannot help them and they cannot help me.  Not really.  HE doesn't understand..but sometimes I think he gets that I am not trying to make his life harder...as I got anxious and almost started to cry in the car on the way home...things were fine...no reason for me to be that way..unless it's the fall weather..the truth is I could guess  forever and even if I did figure out why I probably couldn't stop it so what does it matter?