10 months..

Wow, I am really falling behind on my timing. So Sinza made 10 months in November..we are coming to a more and more accepting position..focusing on accepting her fully as she is..and being the best mother to her..as she is..my stillborn daughter.
And my assignment right now is to understand within myself what that means..who is Sinza? where is she? how is she? I am going by a spiritual angle..I am a Christian, so I believe she is now in heaven with Jesus, happy and well. So what is the best way to parent a child in heaven? It is to give her a good legacy, bring good out of her short but oh so meaningful life. Be there for the mothers of those babies who are arriving in heaven behind her..and also be the parent to a baby whose mother has gone to heaven ahead of her- put to use all those baby care Saturday morning classes..all the psychological preparation for being a mom..the support group I built in preparation for single parenting..yes..I am considering adopting an orphaned baby girl. I want to make Sinza proud!