If you’re like me, you have fallen for more than one Narcissist. As a result, I often ask myself why I’m attracted to these personality types and would like to understand why they are attracted to me.

In my opinion, the first part of this question is simple. It is easy to fall for a Narcissist. They are charming, witty and often the life of the party. They are the quintessential Alpha Male. To spend time with them is exciting and fun. There is an intensity about them that is indescribable. They possess a force that is magnetic. There is simply never a dull moment and they always keep you on your toes.

On the other hand, understanding why they are attracted to me is a bit more perplexing. Recently, however, I have finally started to understand it. I have learned I am an Empath, which describes a person who is highly tuned into other’s emotions and extremely sensitive. I have always been this way. In fact, my childhood friend was once asked to describe me in one word and without hesitation she responded by saying “sensitive.” I was surprised by the rapid-fire response she gave, but it was eye-opening, to say the least.

I have always been sensitive, and I find this to be both a blessing and a curse. I can feel other people’s emotions as if they’re my own. I have been told by others that my ability to empathize with them is palpable. While this is a blessing in many ways, it can prove difficult in interpersonal relationships. Empaths feel things more strongly than others and Narcissists pick up on the sensitivity of an Empath and take advantage of it. An Empath is the perfect accoutrement to a Narcissist.

Empaths are incredible listeners, naturally giving and always there for people they care about. Narcissists notice this immediately because they purposefully seek a partner who is compassionate and in tune with their never-ending needs. An Empath absorbs the emotions of others and will easily fall prey to a Narcissist, who uses others as an emotional sponge.

Empaths are very sensitive to suffering in the world and are often idealists who want to fix the world’s problems. Empaths have an incredible capacity for self-sacrifice and are often found volunteering or dedicating time to help others. People naturally feel comfortable sharing their feelings with an Empath because of their incredible ability to feel compassion and connect with others.

Whereas a Narcissist does not connect well with others, an Empath connects too much. When Empaths are around peace and love, they flourish. However, when surrounded by an emotional vampire, like the Narcissist, an Empath is ravaged. An Empath absorbs the negativity, fear and rage of a Narcissist. So much so that they take on these problems as their own and try to fix things for their partner. This is precisely what a Narcissist is looking for in a partner and exactly why they seek out relationships with Empaths.

The Narcissist chooses us for a reason. They choose us because we are strong, successful, intelligent and driven. They need someone to take care of their never-ending child-like needs and certainly are not going to choose someone who can't provide for them. They know they can take a lot from us and gain significantly by being in a relationship with us. They want to be taken care of and choose strong people to partner with for a reason. Overall, I believe being an Empath is truly a gift, but we must be careful not to allow others to take advantage of us.