Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Im tired of the struggle, with relationships, with everything. i wonder if everything i am doing now is worth it.
im dislexic and have a very hard time with numbers, no problem with words. so math is an issue, regardless of whether or not i understand it. im in college, work and have an almost 3 year old. is this really worth all the time i spend away from her? i can get a degree, but will it truly end up paying in the long run? i have no time for dates, and i already took a risk in a relationship that didnt work out introducing her to him. i wont do that again.
i feel like laying down it all and spending the precious moments of childhood with my daughter. im having trouble finding a path and feeling that maybe i was just meant to be alone... that you just cant trust someone else. every day is a struggle to me, one way or another, i just want to let go, to have some peace. but i know if i stop now, then i probably wont come back to it for another ten years. im so afraid to be one of those people with a degree and not be able to use it or find a job. i dont want to work in a casino forever... but its always a back up plan. i want to do something my daughter can be proud of, that my daughter can look up to. somehow i have to be because she wont have that in a father figure in her life. i have to be strong enough for her to be strong in the future. but im not sure what path to go down to give her that. ugh. i guess im just venting. the math thing is really getting to me and making me doubt myself. i feel like i have never accomplished anything worthwhile in my life. im just exhausted of it all.
im dislexic and have a very hard time with numbers, no problem with words. so math is an issue, regardless of whether or not i understand it. im in college, work and have an almost 3 year old. is this really worth all the time i spend away from her? i can get a degree, but will it truly end up paying in the long run? i have no time for dates, and i already took a risk in a relationship that didnt work out introducing her to him. i wont do that again.
i feel like laying down it all and spending the precious moments of childhood with my daughter. im having trouble finding a path and feeling that maybe i was just meant to be alone... that you just cant trust someone else. every day is a struggle to me, one way or another, i just want to let go, to have some peace. but i know if i stop now, then i probably wont come back to it for another ten years. im so afraid to be one of those people with a degree and not be able to use it or find a job. i dont want to work in a casino forever... but its always a back up plan. i want to do something my daughter can be proud of, that my daughter can look up to. somehow i have to be because she wont have that in a father figure in her life. i have to be strong enough for her to be strong in the future. but im not sure what path to go down to give her that. ugh. i guess im just venting. the math thing is really getting to me and making me doubt myself. i feel like i have never accomplished anything worthwhile in my life. im just exhausted of it all.
my degree options narrowed down are: marketing advertising video production with a minor in marine biology. or psychology with a minor in marine biology or animal science.
i enjoy psychology, but it would be hard for me to make a living doing it... taking money from people for it. and its also a hard degree to work in around here, alot of people choose that degree. if i went into psychology i would have to learn math as well because i would want to be in neuroscience to try to figure out how to measure the neurotransmitters in the brain to properly medicate people who need it and lower the risks of side effects. everything but the art degree requires extensive math.
but i have to keep with it. i do want to quit though when it gets so tough. the rest of school so far has been easy for me. enjoyable even. i hold a steady 3.5 even with my 2.0 in math so im on the deans list. two more quarters and i qualify for scholarships.
i just am in this funk. cant seem to shake myself out of it. i am in poetry and yoga for theraputic reasons... then just the math. ugh. thanks for the support all... i really appreciate it. things are hard nowdays... not just cause of school but cause i find myself missing people and wondering why... and when... and wouldnt it be nice, to believe in someone, something, just once besides myself. and this feeling is kicking my ass.