Dracona, sweety-love ---

i am not sure what the math thing is - i suspect you're taking a math class now that is challenging you ... I am really good at math, but I so suck with written words to the point where reading is and has always been very difficult for me. My feeling is our brains work differently, and some are really good with numbers, and some arent. Some are good with words, and some aren't. Whether you are 'good' at math, in my opinion, has very little to do with your value as a person. From what I gather from your present situation, you have to get through some math class to get your degree. If that is the case, my suggestion is to just do what you have to do to be done with it.

I hear you about the situation with your daughter. Not sure how much time your school is taking away from her, though. You are right that if you quit school now, you are more unlikely to continue with it to get whatever degree you're after.

It's a tough row to hoe for us single moms - to try to draw that line between caring for our kids and 'improving' our own lives. Ideally, we could do both at the same time, but it's tough.

Again, I don't know your situation, and I like the idea of being there for our children in these young years, but I really also like the idea of being among peers working towards a goal.

Being a parent of a toddler is exhasting!!! In a few years she'll be in school herself.

I don't have answers, but I just want you to know that I understand your struggles. It is also evident to me that you are intelligent in many ways and that you'll make it work.

LOVE to you!

pppatty

Dracona, I really hope you finish your degree. I understand your desire to spend time with your daughter, but the best gift you can give to your daughter is building your own future by getting a good education that will lead to bigger and better things for both of you, and by being an example to her that empowers her to get a good education, too. Many hugs.

Dracona, it will all be worth it - YOU are worth it - and your daughter will appreciate it. If the time you are spending with her does not seem enough - perhaps make the time that you DO spend with her, quality time! I am not a parent but I have come to understand that children are taught by example. Make those moments you have with her so filled with love and support so that she is in no doubt of her security and your love for her.

You have been through so much, Dracona. Free yourself of any concerns about relationships, you don't need one to validate your life. The right man may just catch you by surprise... one day...

Peace and strength to you...
((HUGS))

dracona-

Please hear my words. Your degree will be the one thing that no one else can ever, ever take away from you. EVERY thing else can be. EVERY thing. I went back- as you mentioned, later. I got my degree just shy of 2005. During that time I was seperated and then went through my first divorce. I lost everything in that divorce including my house. I didn't know then at all, or even had an inkling to something called Narcissim. Just knew that I couldn't do what I was doing any more. I ended up moving back in with my day after dropping out of college (which I had started before the divorce) for a year and falling into a deep, dark, clinical depression. I started college back up but left the girls with him. This, by the way, was all his idea. I had no way to take care of them, (he had taken all the money out of the accounts and moved it to his). I didn't have one dime to my name. That went on for a year, until I made the decision to move in with my dad which was across the united states. My youngest wasn't was just in kindergarten. It was the toughest years of my life. I was alone, didn't have my 3 daughters, lost everything AND to top it off, had started another relationship in my vulnerability to xN2 which was by far the worst of the 3 concerning selfishness, cruelty etc. He as the closest in traits to my N mother in nearly every single way....

It took me 3 years before I had my D2 living with me (the year before I graduated), and 4 years until D3 moved back (the summer after I graduated and had just found a job - 9 months later). It was as an intern part time. Was it what I had gone to school for? nope. But by that time I was happy just to get my foot in the door. I never did work part time and in 3 months was made permanent full time. This was the career I worked at so hard to cultivate (by the time I left there I was the right hand 'man' to the CEO) and then just 4 1/2 years of working there, got sick and lost it all again.

But I will always have that degree. I am the first and only in my family to have gone to college and finish. I have a bachelors of science degree in psychology with a minor in communications. My plan was to go back someday and at least get my Masters but don't know if I will do that or not. At the time I stopped with the BS degree because I really, really needed to find work to support myself and the girls. About the time that I finished my degree is when things were finally ending with xN2. I had tried and tried and tried to leave him many times before that. But I always got sucked back in. He put down every single thing I did. As SOON as I FINALLY declared my minor he attacked it and went after it with everything he had. He did everything he could to keep me small. He was jealous of everything and everyone including me.

Don't give up dracona. I know that it can be so hard but know this. Even if you don't get a job in, whatever you are going to school for initially-- it won't matter most of the time. Most people don't end up in careers that they went to school for. The degree itself is what opens doors to you that you wouldn't have had necessarily before. This is what is key to keep in mind!

Thank you everyone, very encouraging. and i tell myself these things, but this math is such a trigger, cause it forces me to come to terms with the fact i am dislexic, and that numbers dont work for me. i feel like my skin crawls when i have to do math, and when i become frustrated it just sets off a whole series of events and emotions that are so hard to deal with. and ive known people who have spent years in college and never get the job they spent so much time pursuing. i have to get this math down. i was going to go for psychology, to get around the math part and still be able to be in a science, but i dont know i would want to deal with the people involved in psychology... because what im finding as i study it, is alot of its crap, and they need to stop diognosing people with things until they can come up with a truly scientific way to measure the problem because the traditional way isnt working, and the only way to make a good living doing it is to prescribe meds to get the pharmacy kick backs. any way, done with that tangent lol. but i think im going for my arts degree, for advertising and multimedia... with a minor in marine biology... or psychology, wherever i am led to. who knows. ill probably change my mind again.
i just know, that in spite of all the positive things i am doing for my life, myself, my future... is that i feel so down in the dumps. i should be proud of myself. i just want balance. and to enjoy the time i do have with my daughter. its so hard to, working nights, im always tired in the daytime. but thanks again everyone.
and you are right ladesse.

Dracona, please get yourself a tutor, or ask for help from one of the students in your class who does get it. Even though I have been underemployed most of the time since getting my degrees,, I am still happy that I graduated from college. Education is something no one can take away from you, and you will also be teaching your daugter the importance of sticking to a goal and following through with something. Do what you have to girl. You will be glad you did.

snowy every single word that you wrote is to true and such good advice. Well said. Hang in there dracona!!

snowy every single word that you wrote is to true and such good advice. Well said. Hang in there dracona!!

Hey Dracona,

I'd say, just don't give up on your degree. There are some sacrifices you are making: you have to spend less time with your daughter now which I can see you care a lot about her and its really hurting you. But if you still worked full time only at the casino, you'd still be spending a lot of time away from her anyway. A degree is always a foot in the door. Even if a bachelor's can't get you the job you want, a master's is only 2 years. And having a degree, even if you have a crappy job, they will usually pay you more than other workers who dont' have a degree. You will inspire your daughter with your perseverance, if you do finish it. It is incredibly difficult. Just because you are down and you feel like you have never accomplished anything doesn't mean you haven't. Focus on facts, not feelings.

I have to go now, but I'm sending you lots of support.

Hi Dracona, please dont put yourself dwon, just look at what you have achieved already, your beautiful daughter for one, and this site ..... you have touched ( and probably saved) the lives and hearts and sanity of all of us here. In our darkest moments we reached towards the light and this site was in it................. so what if you struggle with maths, see it as an annoying, boring hurdle you have to crawl over in order to get your degree. Numbers cant hurt you, laugh at them, see the absurdity of why people seem to need to quantify everything in order to understand it. Love , kindness, compassion, understanding, friendship, spirit - none of those things can be measured.... and thats the beauty of Life. You dont want to work in a casino, gambling and debauchery belong to the dark side..... no good comes from those places. You want a great job in the daytime when your daughter will be at school, so you can enjoy the evenings and weekends relaxing and having fun. Ive been/am a single mom and have worked since my babies were 3months old each, I never had the chance to go to university and get a degree, I was forced to leave home at 16. But I was made a Manager at 20 and have been in management, now Senior Management since then,and both my gorgeous sons have been and are at University. Stick with your studies Dracona, dance around the house with your daughter and be proud of who you are, and what you are doing to give her the best you can possibly give her...... you are blessed. (((((((((((hug))))))))))))2Butterfly

Thanks. i have all the tutors i can afford. im just scared. i didnt have enough to pay for the online portion and well... am behind in my homework by over a week which is 10 percent of grade and not able to make up for full credit, plus i have failed my quizzes. i have to get 100 percent on each exam to pass.
if i fail i could lose my financial aid. im trying. i am. i just get so stuck. i hate it. i just wish it would come to me. i know the math very well. im good with the operations. i just flip the numbers around. is so incredibly frustrating and unless someone is standing there to point out when i do it, it happens every problem just about. sometimes its so bad i just stare at the page.

but you guys are awesome... thank you very much for your kind words.i think i just feel beat up in life, and im having a hard time of just letting go... and letting my emotions run me and im unsure how to stop. its very hard.

I choose my undergrad college (liberal arts) soley on the fact that I only had to take 1 math class with a psychology degree (statistics for the social sceinces). I am also not good at math (especially algebra - what the hell is x?) and it makes me freeze.

It does not mean it is not worth it, it just means it is a challenge for us!

It probably isn't too late to drop it and take it next semester. A personal story, I was taking statistics and having a really hard time with it. I dropped and took it the next semester. it was much clearer the second time around, and I ended up with a B! Many schools if you do have a documented learning disability will help defray the costs of a tutor or even provide one free of charge. Look into this if this is a real problem for you. You can probably also be evaluated at your U.

Dracona, just a thought - if your University knows that numbers are a challenge for you, is it not possible for you to do your exams orally or in a one-on-one situation with a teacher? Would this be an option for you?