Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Well I had a great day out with my daughter yesterday - we were picking up a rowing machine she had bought off ebay! - had an interesting chat with her.
I asked her if she could change one thing about her appearance what would it be?!
She said - absolutely nothing, Im happy with how I am. I didn't used to be but now Im happy with myself.
WOW I said, how did you do that?!
She said: I was so miserable about the way I looked, I hated my nose, my lips, my skin, my red hair, my feet my big hands, my voice….but then I bitch slapped myself and told myself there are plenty other people to hate on me theres just no point me doing it too! So I got a grip and now Im comfortable with everything. I am who I am and I feel strong…and Im hot so who cares about the rest lol!!!
OMG - I was so proud of her right there!!!
How lovely to hear!
anyway I was talking to her about things, she is off to Uni soon so I am spending time with her as much as I can!
We were talking about our childhoods - was I co-D before my abuse or did it cause it? I think about this a lot. I think I was already messed up. One of my early memories is of my parents mocking me when I cried and I remember this making me feel very upset, very unjust and hurtful. They used to sing a silly song called 'Romoaner, oh can you hear her moaning….' every time I cried.
SO I guess it started early with me learning not to show my emotions and that I will only be liked if I am happy and behaving appropriately. Making me feel like I have to apologise for how I am all the time.
Not sure how I feel about it, cross with my parents but ok too, they were young ( 19/20) and I guess it was their way of coping.
I asked her if she could change one thing about her appearance what would it be?!
She said - absolutely nothing, Im happy with how I am. I didn't used to be but now Im happy with myself.
WOW I said, how did you do that?!
She said: I was so miserable about the way I looked, I hated my nose, my lips, my skin, my red hair, my feet my big hands, my voice….but then I bitch slapped myself and told myself there are plenty other people to hate on me theres just no point me doing it too! So I got a grip and now Im comfortable with everything. I am who I am and I feel strong…and Im hot so who cares about the rest lol!!!
OMG - I was so proud of her right there!!!
How lovely to hear!
anyway I was talking to her about things, she is off to Uni soon so I am spending time with her as much as I can!
We were talking about our childhoods - was I co-D before my abuse or did it cause it? I think about this a lot. I think I was already messed up. One of my early memories is of my parents mocking me when I cried and I remember this making me feel very upset, very unjust and hurtful. They used to sing a silly song called 'Romoaner, oh can you hear her moaning….' every time I cried.
SO I guess it started early with me learning not to show my emotions and that I will only be liked if I am happy and behaving appropriately. Making me feel like I have to apologise for how I am all the time.
Not sure how I feel about it, cross with my parents but ok too, they were young ( 19/20) and I guess it was their way of coping.
x
" One of my early memories is of my parents mocking me when I cried and I remember this making me feel very upset, very unjust and hurtful. They used to sing a silly song called 'Romoaner, oh can you hear her moaning….' every time I cried."
That spoke to me because I was ridiculed, too in my family for being sad or angry. My mom called me "face like a thundercloud" and my sister's called me another name I won't repeat. But I couldn't help being sad or angry and there was a lot to be sad and angry about in our house, which everyone was in denial about. It really affected me, though, the way they treated me and picked on me for something I couldn't help.
I don't think any of us caused our codependency... it's not our fault we were mistreated.
It is our responsibility to recover though
<3
x
and thanks thriving!!!