Yes. I was very suicidal. At the end of the relationship, I cut myself deeply about 9 times with a razor. I still have scars. I had a completely breakdown for a week, about 3 months into NC, where I had to force myself just to get out of bed. I didn't want to be alive. I called a suicide hotline. I honestly felt like I couldn't live without him. I actually posted here...and everyone here was a lifesaver.

If you feel suicidal...please just hang on and know this feeling will pass. But while you are living that feeling, reach out in whatever way you can. Call a suicide hotline. Keep posting here for support. Talk to a therapist at a drop-in centre.

Please take care and keep us updated. x

I had thoughts about it............but they do pass...........I never attempted it though because of my child. I am lucky I had her welfare to think of. Please get some help if you are having suicidal thoughts or go stay with someone who can help you through this and ensure you're safety. It's a horrid place to be and maybe you need some medication, so a visit to the doctor is probably required. We are all here for you, please post regularly so we know you are ok.

Thank you for your support. I've been like before i met him, but its worse when i have this thing on my mind. I believe in God and I'm really fed up with this material world. I just feel so alone. It hurts to face the reality.

If you feel suicidal you call 911 right NOW!!!

I don't even have guts to leave him for good. And actually it's easier than ending with myself. He deleted me from fb but talks with me in a very weird manner... so cold. I'm ill right now and I'm just not coping with it.

If you believe in God, please talk to him, ask him for his help and to guide you safely through this emotional turmoil. I had issues with god as a child because of my adopted father but since I have been here I have become very spiritual and it really helps. Please don't think you are alone, we are here for you and if you believe in god, the universe, the angels, nature or a higher power......remember that entity is around you too.
Facing reality is very painful but as you get in touch with your inner core and let that pain out, a healing process will start.
This material world can be a cruel place, but there is beauty and love all around us ............ do you know anything about getting in to the present moment? Sit for a while, focus on the things you can see, hear, feel, touch, smell. It is calming and soothing, it will bring peace. Have you got some perfume you can spray on a pillow, some calming music you can listen to. Is there anything you can remember from childhood, that would calm you? How would you soothe a friend or a small child if they were upset. Use that on yourself now. When I am scared, in pain, lonely, tearful, anxious..........I turn up the heating/put the fire on and close the curtains ( makes me feel safe and warm). We all have something that soothes us.

I don't even have guts to leave him for good. And actually it's easier than ending with myself. He deleted me from fb but talks with me in a very weird manner... so cold. I'm ill right now and I'm just not coping with it.


If you feel ill, you need to get professional help..........call a crisis line or 911 or call a friend to come over to assist you with getting some help.

Wishing to die to ease your pain and actually considering suicide are two entirely different processes. Everyone, at sometime in their lives, believes that death would be a welcome relief of the pain that they are feeling. Vividly envisioning or planning your death is a dangerous place to be. If you are considering harming yourself please call your local crisis line and talk to a counselor or check your chat box to see if one of your WWLTM sisters are available to you. We are here to support you in your journey.

Remember that just because the world is materialistic that does not mean you have to participate in their covetousness. You can just a simple more minimalist lifestyle and find that without the clutter of stuff that life becomes a but more peaceful.

Much love and strength to you.

I have wished i would die, i have wanted to, not wanting to live, without him. feeling like i was nothing if he no longer loved me because i believed so much in his love, it became all i had, alienated from friends, pushed away by family, i was so incredibly alone. i felt dead inside already. I agree with calling a hotline... they do help, in those moments where you feel there is nothing left, not that there isnt a choice, but that you dont want to make that choice. all i can say, is even if you dont believe it, you are coping. this is part of coping with something as awful as what they do to us. and for us to grow as people, we learn new ways of coping as we go, from the bottom up. and someday it does pass, it does get better. everything passes. i think that some suicidal thoughts on some level are normal for people undergoing a traumatic event. especially a break up where he makes you feel totally worthless and confused and lost. im surprised i could get my shoes on the right foot at times. but you are worthless, and you are trying, and you are reaching out. this is good. even though you feel empty and alone, you are not, and you still have "guts" left in you, and you still have spirit...because otherwise, you would not be here talking to us, about how you feel, about anything. find that small sliver of "guts" that made you come here and post, and hold onto it, and know you are not done. you are simply resting, and you do have strength, and you are worth fighting for, because even now you are fighting. die to end your pain, no. definately not. take this pain, own it and know it is yours, and that you are strong enough. you cant change people. you have to accept what he did. know there is nothing you can do to change him or make him better, or make him even see your pain, your sacrifice. there is only one thing in this world you truly can change, and that is yourself. and you can make yourself strong. and you can be in control of your life. someday you will look back remembering this post, and see a stranger, cause that time seemed so long ago, and you can laugh at yourself, because you know you will never be this way again. once you get through this, there is nothing that can truly hurt you. our hearts break, shatter even, but our spirits do not.

HUGS to you... keep us updated, we are all here for you, and want to be here for you, and think you are a wonderful human being and the world needs more like you... and we think you deserve everything you ever desire, and that someday soon, you shall have it.

Nik...YES it can kill you (only of you let it). I had amny of thought of not wanting to live...you must pray ad have faith. Stay close to love ones when you are at your lowest. Read all you can about your behaviors it will give you hope. And just know that you are not alone...never we are here and God is watching over you.

Ask God what lesson are you to learn...now that does not mean you will instantly change your feelings and behavior but it will keep you focus. Write down your blessing I don't care if it's you are able to type and see. Write it all down. Be grateful...live honey!

Big Hug