The best book I read told me to stop. Just stop. Stop dieting, stop thinking about food. Just eat and enjoy. Don't binge, don't purge, just enjoy the goodness.
If someone tells you you can eat, all of a sudden you don't want to!
It was so simple.
I just stopped.
Two words are banned in my family….the F word ( fat) and the D word ( diet)

yes Finn, I used to think no one can want me if I am over weight and unhealthy, its my weight not my personality thats putting them off!! lol! Then it was my obsession with food that put them off. I wouldn't eat, drink or socialise. It was grim. If I ate anything I would have to run it off.
I was so skinny it hurt to sit on a chair my butt was so scrawny!

I have never been real skinny and never real overweight. But always just about 20 lbs more than I would like. What I like better is feeling good. When I joined a workout group I lost 16 lbs. But most of all I was solid and had lots of energy. The eating pattern though could not realistically be maintained. It was no carbs or very little. I like to eat. And I like carbs

. I look at women now that are very thin and attractive and sometimes I see a lot of unhappiness. So I know it is not looking good that makes us feel happy, because some of these unhappy women are absolutely gorgeous. So for me it's about how I feel physically. Lately without exercising much I am flabby and have little energy. I am ok with being 20 lbs overweight, but not ok with how I feel. I eat junk food and I know that does not make me feel any better either. I have started to drink lots of water. I already feel a little better than when I was drinking diet soda's. I like unsweetened ice tea a lot too, but have found that it amps me up and drains my body of water from the caffeine.

My mother had and still has an eating disorder. So I got to see how much unhappiness that has brought her through out her life. She is very skinny. She always told me I was fat. She puts so much importance on weight that I could see very early in life what you get with the obsession of how you look....misery.

She used to tell my daughter that she was overweight and I told her to stop! Now she just tells me what she thinks of my daughters weight every time she sees her, which is not very often. All these disorders are just coping skills to combat our pain. It is when they are inflicted on others that they become real destroyers.

Kuhu....my suggestion is to keep to your plan of losing weight at a reasonable rate and spend some time looking for a wonderful bathing suit. They have some really cool bathing suits out there these days. It will make you feel good and comfortable if you really spend some quality time looking for and purchasing the right suit. Concentrate more on how you can be comfortable in a suit and feel good about yourself with exactly where you are today. Then if you end up losing more weight before the trip you will be delighted. If you don't you will still be ok and not let down. This way you can take some worry out of your vacation about looking good at the beach.

And I am sure that your goal here is to really enjoy your vacation. Get the worry factors out now so that you can enjoy it to the fullest!

Part of my allowing myself to get over weight was I think, trying to test my H at the time, to see if he would love me no matter what. But I wasn't happy with myself. I just felt uncomfortable with myself. I lost the weight by exercising and weight watchers. It made me unhappy in the end. But funnily enough the H I had then was baffled by people asking him if he thought I was hotter than before - he said 'but you are still you?!' He loves me still and I know he always will.
He is my best friend, not my current H !!!

I enjoy looking once and I think I look and feel more confident about that when I am not so heavy!

When I was ill I was using a med to make me sick - I read about a woman who died by taking diet pills. It was a wake up call. Was being over weight really worth losing my life over?! It made me realise how ridiculous I was being. Life is more important than the size of my butt!!

Since I quit smoking in January I put on about 15 lbs. I've always been curvy, I kinda gave up on the thin dream. Not gonna happen. But those 15 extra lbs really got me on my feet. I will never stop eating, I find too much joy in it. I eat healthy and splurge occasionally. And I started running and hiking. I don't weigh myself anymore, I don't care about the number. I measure myself through the clothes I wear. Comfort first. I don't buy clothes that are too tight. I used to do that as a motivator. yeah....um no. Bad idea. You just wind up very uncomfortable all day long.
So...eat well, work up a good sweat 3 or 4 times per week, drink lots of water and reward yourself every so often. That is all

Shani it's a good idea to buy a good outfit. I have lost 4 lbs already . But today as a celebration for losing that weight loss, I have eaten too much. I am also 20 lbs overweight. I have to lose 16 more lbs to be my ideal weight. I won't be too harsh on myself . But I will be glad if I can lose 6 more pounds. I love to eat and was into junk food for a long time. Time to get sensible.

Hey just to share here....I have lost 8 lbs already and am very happy with the progress so far.I am not starving but am very conscious about the portions. I am eating everything. Feeling good about myself. But a long way to go. So now I need to lose 12 more lbs. But the vacation is not a deadline anymore.

Way to go Kuhu! That's such good news:)

Thats awesome!

Im so happy for you!
I too need to lose weight but I have come off anti-depressants lately and they stop weight loss or make it really difficult. My doctor said it could take 6 months so Im going to get back on plan after Xmas. In the meantime I eat healthily and don't worry about it so fingers crossed! I have started doing pilates too which is really great. My focus is on my mental health at the moment but I know I would feel so much better about myself if I lost the weight.

Let us know how you get on , love to share you success.
If you have a 'bad' day just don't worry and get back on track the next day.

I gave up years ago trying to diet. I do good on one, then slack off. It's not worth the stress and constant thinking about dieting for me to continue one. Since going through my divorce I have dropped a few pounds due to stress but it wasn't something I planned. I call it the divorce diet and I don't recommend it!
I don't even know how much I weigh and I know I should drop some pounds, just don't care to. When I do care, I do weight watchers or I just watch what I put in my mouth. I also try and not eat late and I do cut back on sugar. Like above, moderation in all things is a good goal. The key for me is how my clothes feel on me, if they start to get snug, I know to cut back. I love to walk and it's always in the back of my head, just need some motivation to start. I know I would feel much better if I exercised, even a little so maybe I will (you know, tomorrow, lol)
Diets suck, almost impossible to stay on. I am confident in my appearance (and I'm no beauty queen) and I have a great personality and that is enough in my eyes. Yes I would like to be thinner, but it is not a priority for me.
This subject has made me hungry, isn't that usually the case when Diet word is mentioned!

oh, another thought: When my mom was alive, she looked at me and my sister from behind one day and asked very innocently, is my butt as big as you girls? I laughed my head off while my overly sensitive sister took offense. Love and miss you mom.

Was just wondering about the connection between weight loss and co-D.

It occurred to me that when I am single I lose weight really easily but as soon as I get in a relationship and the focus is no longer on myself I put on weight and stop taking care of myself as I am busy focussing on him.

hmmm….
x
food for thought - so to speak!