rote a very elaborate list on how one can take care of herself...can pamperherself...this topic would come uner that I suppose....taking care of our healths...for eating right..to exercising right...to addressing issues about our health we always wanted to do but didn't.

This is a tough one to answer kuhu. I am sure many of us can answer with our weight loss secrets if we consider your question superficially. Personally for me calorie counting worked the one time I had to lose 5 kg before my wedding. I did weight watchers and adhered to the program very strictly and it worked for me.

The deeper question is why are you doing it? Is it for yourself or to please someone else or because you feel embarassed to show your body in a swimsuit.. It is all to do with loving and accepting ourselves. Everyday when I am getting dressed, I look at myself in the mirrror and smile and look at all my curvy bits and affirm to myself that I accept my body. It is not swimsuit perfect by any means, but I am trying to love the body I have today rather than wait for it to look different. And then I show myself love by eating healty and exercising as much as I can. That is what has worked for me to keep my weight down long term...

Hey lucidak, Your mail has given a new dimension to my question. And it has also taken the stress away from the 30 day deadline:)) But I would like to lose weight because I am overweight. I know it's a continuos process . But would look forward to some sharings on health and fitness.

Well for me its like this….

every mile burns about 100 calories - however you do it - get yourself a pedometer and log how many steps you take. 2000 steps is a mile ( depending on your stride length.) So if you aim for the recommended 10,000 steps a day thats 500 calories!!! Its that easy!
Enjoy it! The pedo will help motivate you - keep a log of how many steps and see how it motivates you!

watch your bread intake, and things like processed food, avoid fruit juices and go for actual fruit instead.
If you go on www.myfitnesspal.com it will help you keep track of what you eat and what goodness it gives you. It is a great resource site, you gather friends and get support. Its brilliant.

But above all don't deny yourself anything, everything in moderation!

I like the slimming world concept with their focus on home cooked food using fresh ingredients. Its that easy. Nourish yourself.

To address the other element of this topic - self-acceptance and honesty about it!

I have started going to aqua aerobics class - everyone is in swimsuits and just wanders round naked without shame. I can see how their bodies have been affected by life, loving and creating new life. Its wonderful to see. I feel better about how I look now. I used to think if I didn't look like a porn-star I wasn't worth having sex with - I had it all so screwed up.

I am trying to lose weight because I am not cherishing my body. I am not looking after myself , I was bingeing, drinking, eating too much cake! I feel so much better now. I have bought myself a snuggly fleece to walk home after my classes too.

I personally have decided to do more for me, and nurturing my body by exercising is one of those ways. It feels good to feel strong. None of the ladies ( and they are mature!) are ashamed of their bodies - why should they be! They also see me without my make up and naked and they don't flinch or scream and cover their eyes!!! lol!!! Something I am still working on, accepting myself.

exercising also has an element of looking after my mental health too. I know this is an area in which I am fragile and I have found exercise is very positive for this.

Hi Kuhu,


I think Lucidak is correct. There are countless quick weight loss diets on the market now. The watermelon diet, the cabbage diet, the ice cream diet, atkins, and the list goes on an on. Although our weight is a physical manifestation of the food that is going in our mouths, I think it is also an emotional and spiritual manifestation of additional weight that we are carrying.

For me I realize that my mother used food as a way to compensate for not being present in my life and now I am using food as a way not to be present for myself. It is a way to numb and check out of my life. I also notice that when I don't want to be present for my son I offer him food as well. I am working to consciously break that pattern within me and also to stop doing it with my child. I don't have any solutions or suggestions for how to lose a significant amount of weight within a short amount of time. For me it is a slow process and a significant change in how I relate to food, my body, and my emotions.

I think Sunny has offered some great advise on how to deal with the physical aspects of losing weight. One of the things that I tell myself constantly is don't eat less, eat better.

Good luck.

I've been so stressed about this "relationship" that I was in that I lost over 20lbs in one month. When he first disappeared on me and my abandonment issues kicked in, I could not eat. No appetite at all. I went 2 weeks without eating anything. It's been months now but I still don't eat much. Maybe 1 or 2 small meals a day. I have managed to keep off the weight and am slowly losing more. So I can't complain. That's one good thing that came out of this. I had been wanting to lose this weight for years and nothing worked. If you can force yourself to cut down your food intake drastically, after a few days you won't crave food as much. You get used to it. Now I can't eat that much before I'm full. I wish they made an appetite suppressant that works as good as dating a jerk.

Thanks Sunny....yeah walking is something I really like.
Yes Izz it's not just about the cosmetic part of losing weight.I want to eat healthy and look after myself....
Agentsmith your dating a jerk comparison is hilarious. :)
Thanks ladies.

i'm sorry i haven't had a change to read everything above yet...

can i just ask you how much anxiety do you live with??????

No real anxiety currently. :) Past few months since I am living a simple no drama life. ..no anxiety.

I created an eating disorder in myself with my 'obsession' with food. I was very unhappy at the time and it was my way of having some control on my life. classic eating disorder scenario - I was bulimic.
It was a horrible time, and very difficult to get over.
So I know a lot about food, eating and the mental situation that goes along with it.
The guilt, the self-punishment, the control, the self-nurturing then feeling undeserving. The expectation to keep it off.
Its a tough one.

excellent. i have a theory about the relationship between codependency and weight...

for me my weight is a shield. until i deal with the psychological schittt behind that i'm probably not going to lose weight.

i love love this book by brooke castillo, "if i'm so smart why can't i lose weight?"

and www,theweightschool.com

it's not a diet. it's a way of intuitive eating. amazing...

also susan albers wrote several books on ways to soothe without food and mindful eating which i love as well..

Thanks fin . lot of good advise I got.

I tend to eat because it comforts me. In the last couple of years I have put on about 10 pound--in the past 4 years, 10 pounds. So I am about 20 pounds over my ideal weight. A good part about this is that I haven't been beating myself up over it, haven't been thinking I am unattractive because of it. However, I have been getting terrible heartburn at night which in turn gives me asthma. Also, it somewhat restricts mobility. One of the things I have done in the past to lose weight that has proved quite effective for me is to increase the amount of tea I drink. When I feel like having a comfort snack, I'll have some tea instead. I will doctor up the tea with some low-fat creamer and sweetner. It helps take the edge off during those initial days of dieting when you are craving (LOTS OF) carbs. Thanks for bringing up the weight thing, it's inspired me to get back on the fitness wagon again. :-)