I am in the same boat. Today I'm really struggling. Other days I'm fine. You can try blocking him from your phone. I have verizon and there is a way to block numbers, if you login to your account online. Maybe call your friends and talk, when you're having a weak moment. For me, when I spiral out of control, nothing and nobody can stop me from contacting him. I hate it. I've never had this problem. The previous guys were all abusive psychopaths and it was easy to walk away from that. This one is not abusive, just scared, and that really makes it hard for me.

After struggling wit my mess-and-a-half for over a year, a fairly insignificant thing made me so angry that I stopped speaking to him! I invilved myself with my neighbor who I knew to have several bedmates. It took me awhile to understand what I was dealing with. I convinced myself that there was something wrong with me for him to treat me so poorly. It wasn't me. It was him all the time. I can hardly stand to look at him now. I think about all the things he did, said and his overall behavior and I have no desire to contact him. The website esteemology.com helped me tremendously. I simply did understand I was dealing with a narcissist until I found this site. Then I started writing my own blog eoftheu2014. I was crushed and devastated by what I had allowed into my life. That last text I received that said "hey", I immediately deleted it. The last time he said something to me, I turned my back to him and walked inside mr home. If he drives by, I look the other way. Decided who do you like better. Yourself, of course! Then think about all the rotten things that were done to you, the lies, the cheating, the emotional abuse. Hold on to that just long enough to get through the weakness. Of course you will miss him. I miss the mess-and-a-half and feel a little bereft when I know he is with another which is everyday. I do not, however, miss his nastiness, his lies and his blatant disregard for my feigns. No contact is real. It took me awhile to get there. I am finally there and loving every minute of everyday that I don't have anything to do with him and his shenaningans. You can do it. You need to do it! And you need to donit for you. As TD Jakes said "Let It Go"! You will like yourself for it! Treat yourself well! You deserve it!

It is awesome to read that you have made changes to your life that will help you literally "move on". You are on the right track. Understand that it is a chemical reaction in your brain and you are simply experiencing withdrawal...Watch this video by Dr. Helen Fisher..

http://youtu.be/OYfoGTIG7pY

You, the consciousness inside of you is much bigger than the part of you missing him...Much love.

Block him, belle! Don't let him do that to you. Going back to her and texting you? Just say no! (by actions not words by way of blocking) Good luck!

I was very smart this time to quickly get a good job that I love & is relatively autonomous so that when he pulled the rug out I'd be still able to deal with work. I starting stashing away cash & hiding in my things. I also keep persistent on asking about a particular Apt I lived in before & loved. The stars are all aligning for me. No longer dependent on him. No longer stuck. Every baby step is a step in the right direction. I haven't spoken to him since he said all tees horrible things about missing his ex. This reunion I was very accommodating. We didn't have any major fights but DAMN did I see some massive cracks in his facade! He isn't this goofy, happy, easy going guy. He is a passive aggressive, low patience, juvenile to the point that it's insane. He is nuts & not in the fun way I thought he was. He told me he was just waiting for her to come around. Um, yeah, that's what you said the last 3 times. That she finally did what you wanted her to do. For a week. And then you'd come back to me. This time he promised me that he had exhausted it. Anyway, he has problems. I'm angry enough to just ignore him. Nothing positive will come of it. I want to truly move on this time. No more sitting in limbo!!

Belle you are doing great and well on your way. Keep it up. And you were in deparinf. Good job, cash you are doing swell!

Hi Belle,

Welcome back.....

About midnight I get a knock on the door. It's him. He said he was worried about me. I told him to go back to his ex. I never wanted to see or hear from him again! He certainly didn't care a week ago if I were dead or alive and if that truly was the case. Send the police. I don't care. They can check! I was so angry and also just exhausted. Something is wrong with him but it's not my problem to fix! Saturday can not come here soon enough!
I had an awesome weekend despite this. This situation has forced me to make friends and get out there. I had pizza with a friend on Friday. I was the designated driver (usually never my role) on Saturday and laughed so hard at my friends. I took myself out for breakfast and to church on Sunday and later that afternoon I spent the day on the river boating with a few fun people. Even made another new friend. I really think this is a blessing for me.
Oh, and he's also sent me txt telling me how he is going to show me and not just tell me how he is going to do the right things this time. I didn't even respond. I am like sure you are. In the meantime I will be getting my life back together....and no holding my breathe! Empower yourselves ladies anyway you can!!

How do you do no contact with your husband of 16 years when you have a son 17 involved in all kinds of sports etc. We also have rental houses that need attention. I would love to go no contact, I just don't know how to do it in this situation. Actually I look for his e-mails or a text everyday. Since he took his girlfriend on vacation 4 days ago I have only received one e-mail from him and sent one text. I am sure he will contact me when he returns to see that I took most of our belongings including our bed!! He now has matresess on the floor! Getting my stuff felt pretty good.

I would only communicate with him via text or email and only about business or the child. The child is 17. He can communicate directly with his Dad and really should be the one doing the communicating on his behalf. You could remind him "Hey, be sure and let your Dad know about your game or your school function".

no contact belle! block him. you will find great peace of mind and find it easier to move on....


also there is an app do not text that man

this will help you in weaker moments.....

the good news is you have had some healthy relationships. you know for sure that you are capable of that again.

Unfortunately I can't block him until I drop off the car on Saturday in case something happens. It's not the txts that bother me it's the showing up in the middle of the night! Just 5 more nights to go!!!

You're so strong belle! I wish I had your strength. Not sure I could handle the late night visit as well as you did. In fact, I know I couldn't!

I was so angry. Anger is good! All he could do is stand there and mumble and say nothing. I told him he should be doing the talking not me. He cried a bit and said he was confused. I said I've heard it all before. He's a broken record. There comes a point when you just are TURNED WAY OFF by this insanity! I want a man. Not a manipulative cry baby who can't take care of business!

He would like to try again - Let's see...I think this one is a record breaker. 12 whole days it took him to come to this conclusion! Wow! At least this time I wasn't forced to move home to my parents house in the interim! So happy I at least kept it together and got a new place to live! Only 4 more nights!