Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Can anyone answer this question? I decided to quit things with the guy I had been seeing but I still think about him all the time and want to call him and see if he is okay. I remember all the great times we had together and the way we just seemed to click physically and how affectionate and cuddly he was. It was like butterflies and bubbles being with him. But obviously I broke it off because he was giving me all these mixed messages and telling me he didn't want a relationhip although he acted like he was smack dab in the middle of one. Anyway I keep doubting myself thinking how could he have not been the one if we felt all this strong emotional stuff for each other.and our chemistry was unbelieveable. Maybe he's just not ready but if I wait a while he may be. I know how pathetic this sounds. Now that I have had the intial strength to do what I thought was best I'm faltering a bit. How do I get over this? Why do I feel like I'm settling if I don't feel this way with anyone else? And will I EVER feel this way with anyone else? This makes me feel sooo confused and disracts me from my goal. I keep doubting I am doing the right thing. iwas so confident this morning and now I'm wondering if I made the right choice.
A healthy relationship makes you feel good about yourself, an unhealthy relationship makes you doubt yourself. My ex would say he did not want to be in a relationship even though we spent 24 hours a day together, 4 to 5 days a week together.
My mother said that she had a male friend that was chronic womanizer and he would tell all the women that he was involved with that he did not want a GF, or a relationship. That way, when he cheated on them (which he did constantly) he would say: I have nothing to feel bad about, I let know I did not want to be in a relationship.
2 other books that may be helpful to you besides WWL2M:
How to Break Your Addiction to a Person by Howard Halpern
Men Who Can Not Love by by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol (this is about commitment phobic men, who come on strong and then back off the minute you start showing an interest)
most people say focus on the positive, and i always tell people, with us, you have to focus on the negative when it comes to men. focus on that aphrehensive feeling that you just cant stand when he is away.
focus on the hurt. focus on the jealousy. make those bad things override the good. because they do.
would you trade one night of cuddly and affectionate for a week or two of wondering where he is? who he is with? why he doesnt want a relationship with you but spends time with you? why he feels so cold sometimes, then calls you and makes you feel all better? do you want to be controlled like that? that constant state of being on edge? dont make excuses for him, and dont call him cause you are lonely.
he is not the one. there is never only one. there are many fish in the sea... LOL... and just cause you had a shrimp doesnt mean you cant find a lobster.
I'm going to move a couple of other posts up as a reminder of what we do.