Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Why is it that I still crave that attention he gave me in the beginning, and on and off through our relationship? I remember the continuous phone calls, the "perfect" words", the way it felt to be touched and turned on. I do remember the devalue and discard, but it is that over the top attention that hooked me in and brought me back when he saw the need for it. I do remember the cheating that he always seemed to have the right words for (to be forgiven). I remember the hurt - but I WANT the attention back. I am so afraid I will never feel that "wanted" again. I understand that "want" was dysfunctional and the bad def outweighs the good. That "want" was because of HIS neediness to be admired - but it became my neediness to be wanted. Sorry - I am rambling, but I think y'all understand more than most.
In my case I was conditioned as a child to accept abuse and disrespect. I grew up accepting bad behavior because it's all I knew.
Currently, I'm in a womens' group I go to once a week and I see my therapist once a week and I'm here:) It helps me.
And I still feel at times as you do but there are truly good days and bad days.
Today was a bad day, but now it's good.....the "rollercoaster ride."
I keep at this one day at a time.
You are human, you are good, you are kind and smart and beautiful.You are honest and smart! You are trying:)
:) Blessings & good thoughts your way:)
All the other bozo's I spent time with were conning me....they were in their 'best interest' they even cared more about their hair, then I cared about mine....I found out (because I don't have any brothers, I didn't know)
Men are spoiled for CHOICES when it comes to woman...woman throw themselves at men and will do anything to 'have the man' 'have a man' etc........and I found that desperation with myself...was ....LOW SELF-ESTEEM...which still creeps up on me sometimes......when I am under stress and wondering what 'OTHER PEOPLE' like (nosy) family, friends, relatives are wondering about me and relationships........
I really found that FOCUSING on me...and what I want, what I enjoy, and trusting that life is not all about the relationship, but about all the people in my life....even just the ones I meet in the shop, etc...are what life is all about....
I call all those other bozo's I used to fantasize about etc, High-jackers or Opportunists....:) and I don't miss their dumb asses at all. Not wishing them ill.....but working on it...so that I don't ever feel so low, that I fall again for that crap. I do have to get little massages and things like that done regularly to help me though..from the local nail spa..etc.... Girl Power!