Thank Heaven for this board! A place to come and let it out. So I was doing really good in my recovery. And then he came back. And I believed him. AGAIN! I'm a smart lady. Professional. Super educated. But 100 per cent a WWLTM!! And so I let him in. And he said all the right thing. And I believed him. And I thought that this time it would work. This time I would win. It was awesome. For exactly 5 weeks. And then he ghosted me. AGAIN. This was the fourth time. But this time, I had read the book twice. I use the daily meditation. I recognize that i'm a raging co-dependant. And after a few days I threw myself back into recovery. I've been doing really well. Just one text from him to which I did not respond. And for some reason tonight I went creeping him online. And I didn't find him. That should have been a good thing. But realizing that he had changed his security settings which would keep me from even having a peek into his life. And I had a brief hiccup of anxiety, panic, sadness. It wasn't chaotic. And it didn't last long. I worked some tools. Called a friend. Called on my Higher Power. Even came here, to pour it all out. I remember something that Melody Beattie said in CoDependant No More -- progress not perfection. That's what I experienced tonight. Progress in my journey. But this WWLTM is far from perfect! Now, I will focus on myself. I will lean on my higher power. I will thank you for listening and being here. I'm trying. I'm trying. And I will be OK. Without him. As it should be.