Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
After nine months NC with my EX-N, I was "forced" to see him again on Friday, 8/24/12, at a reunion commemorating those of us who grew up in the same neighborhood. Those of you who are familiar with my story may remember that I touched on this in a post about a month ago. At that time, I was feeling extremely apprehensive about having to see him again, since we both serve on the same committee. (I left the committee a while back and blocked my EX-N on Facebook, as well as from my personal email.)
When I walked into the venue, some of my friends (who don't know him) informed me that "a man" had been inquiring about my whereabouts. Then, I SAW HIM. I walked over to the opposite side of the room, because I wanted to avoid him. No sooner than I got there, I felt a tap on my right shoulder. I turned around, and it's HIM. He managed a nervous smile, and said, "Hi." I stared at him, incredulously, gave him the ol' "once-over", and simply nodded in his direction. I never said a word. Then, I walked away. He made an attempt at conversing with a few of our mutual friends, which I found quite embarrassing; he made absolutely no sense.
It wasn't until I arrived home from the affair that I was able to take in, at length, the evening's events. I found myself thinking about how pitiful he looked; he had lost a great deal of weight, his posture was stooped and his face had taken on a gaunt appearance. I realized that I felt sorry for him. I ACTUALLY FELT SORRY FOR HIM! In that moment, however, I realized that feeling sorry for him is, most likely, what got me into "trouble" in the first place. I shared these feelings with my daughter, who said, "Humph! Don't feel sorry for him! He didn't feel sorry for you, when he was treating you like shit!" When I went to bed that evening, I told myself that there's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for him. But, I can never allow myself to forget how shabbily he treated me.
Your feedback is appreciated.
When I walked into the venue, some of my friends (who don't know him) informed me that "a man" had been inquiring about my whereabouts. Then, I SAW HIM. I walked over to the opposite side of the room, because I wanted to avoid him. No sooner than I got there, I felt a tap on my right shoulder. I turned around, and it's HIM. He managed a nervous smile, and said, "Hi." I stared at him, incredulously, gave him the ol' "once-over", and simply nodded in his direction. I never said a word. Then, I walked away. He made an attempt at conversing with a few of our mutual friends, which I found quite embarrassing; he made absolutely no sense.
It wasn't until I arrived home from the affair that I was able to take in, at length, the evening's events. I found myself thinking about how pitiful he looked; he had lost a great deal of weight, his posture was stooped and his face had taken on a gaunt appearance. I realized that I felt sorry for him. I ACTUALLY FELT SORRY FOR HIM! In that moment, however, I realized that feeling sorry for him is, most likely, what got me into "trouble" in the first place. I shared these feelings with my daughter, who said, "Humph! Don't feel sorry for him! He didn't feel sorry for you, when he was treating you like shit!" When I went to bed that evening, I told myself that there's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for him. But, I can never allow myself to forget how shabbily he treated me.
Your feedback is appreciated.
sounds like you were strong and held your own gooood job...
While I would love to be in a healthy relationship, I, like timetoheal67, need to "avoid dating" for a while. In the meantime, I trust to continue to be as loving to myself as I possibly can. When all is said and done, I have no control over anyone's behavior but my own.
Again, thank you!