Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
Well jeeez I feel shitty today.
THought it was all going well, everything has been calm and steady, Assclown has been beyond lovely and I was beginning to feel like it was safe to fall in love with him all over again.
then BAM!
last night in conversation he dropped in that he had an affair while with his last wife which lasted 9 years or so!
With his ex-office manager. He used to pop round to hers for a couple of hours twice a week to get his needs met.
God I was so shocked.
I have no idea but as soon as he confessed this I felt sick, started shaking, felt cold, hot the works.
We were in a restaurant. Not sure how it came up in conversation, think we were talking about how his last wife didnt make him any dinner or something, I said jeez why didnt you go, if you knew it was over ? ( he stayed with her wife3 for 15 years!) well he said because I had a long term affair......
Now this floored me. I cant explain why I reacted the way I did.I wish I knew how not to feel that way.
Now the upshot of all this is that assclown now considers it my fault that I 'made' him tell me something he never wanted anyone to know ( she was his W3 best friend)
I really hate his past affairs. He doesnt consider himself a cheat as he didnt lie about anything., thats his way of justifying it. I think it is horrible personally.
So how can I stop feeling this way.
Im not sure its jealous, I just feel massively insecure that he has lived his life like this....and will it be that way with us!?
I felt so sick, and am shaking still the next day.
Coping strategies please ladies, mine went right out the window!
THought it was all going well, everything has been calm and steady, Assclown has been beyond lovely and I was beginning to feel like it was safe to fall in love with him all over again.
then BAM!
last night in conversation he dropped in that he had an affair while with his last wife which lasted 9 years or so!
With his ex-office manager. He used to pop round to hers for a couple of hours twice a week to get his needs met.
God I was so shocked.
I have no idea but as soon as he confessed this I felt sick, started shaking, felt cold, hot the works.
We were in a restaurant. Not sure how it came up in conversation, think we were talking about how his last wife didnt make him any dinner or something, I said jeez why didnt you go, if you knew it was over ? ( he stayed with her wife3 for 15 years!) well he said because I had a long term affair......
Now this floored me. I cant explain why I reacted the way I did.I wish I knew how not to feel that way.
Now the upshot of all this is that assclown now considers it my fault that I 'made' him tell me something he never wanted anyone to know ( she was his W3 best friend)
I really hate his past affairs. He doesnt consider himself a cheat as he didnt lie about anything., thats his way of justifying it. I think it is horrible personally.
So how can I stop feeling this way.
Im not sure its jealous, I just feel massively insecure that he has lived his life like this....and will it be that way with us!?
I felt so sick, and am shaking still the next day.
Coping strategies please ladies, mine went right out the window!
What brought it up...oh he just blurted it out in a restaurant as I asked him why he stayed with W3 as he had been complaining how she never cooked or looked after for him....( this is a big thing with I'm.)
Thats why I was so shocked...never saw it coming....
and with his best friends wife, how can you live like that - they used to go out as two couples, he can he look his wife and the other husband in the eye?! Jeeez. I dont think it meant much to either of them, it was just sex but for so long surely he must have fallen a little in love with her but he says no,'" she was a nice women, we got along ok and she was available, thats all it was'"
It just floored me Finn. I feel like I let myself down with my reaction at the time.
Im trying not to think of it or the sick feeling comes back!