Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I don't know what it is, maybe the physical distance between us, or the minimal communication...I just feel less of a pull. My mind is not clobbered with thought sof him, I haven't obsessively checked my phone or reread his texts trying to decipher his words. I havn't played back any of our interactions like I normally would a hundred times per day. And the best: I am not wondering what he's doing!
I hope this lasts. I LOVE this feeling! I mean, don't get me wrong, I have no idea how I'll deal with it if he would ever drop down on his knees begging me back. he has never done anything liek that so I don't know how I would handle it. But I really think that I'm not DYING for that to happen. I really think that I'll be okay if he doesn't do that. Am I making any sense?
I hope this lasts. I LOVE this feeling! I mean, don't get me wrong, I have no idea how I'll deal with it if he would ever drop down on his knees begging me back. he has never done anything liek that so I don't know how I would handle it. But I really think that I'm not DYING for that to happen. I really think that I'll be okay if he doesn't do that. Am I making any sense?
I want him to hurt like I'm hurting.
I felt like that a little when my ex was texting my daughter checking on me (she's 19 but still...).
In this case, I would agree that likely anything (short of a life-threatening disease that he was keeping quiet) she has to share is just too little, too late.
So, to engage or not to engage?
One thing that comes to mind for me is to NOT contact her until AFTER your trip.
If you feel curious or open to speaking to her AFTER the trip (and the potential manipulation to spend time together on your holiday, etc.), then do it. You can always hear what she has to say and weigh it out for yourself.
A caring friend/family member likely sees that he is messing up and struggling and wants you to know that you mean something but really, from what you have reported here, you have not felt good in a long time. He didn't make you feel loved, safe, secure, calm, etc., etc. NORMAL stuff. Maybe he has his issues but so what?
I think you should enjoy your trip and let some time pass. It's a hook and maybe it's innocent and not meant to mess with you but it just isn't fair. You need to stay steady with your healing.
I know he has issues, I have known thsi for a while. But at thsi point, if i engage, it will be like the blind leading the blind.
Time has to pass in order for something with sustenance to happen, whatever that may be. I also think that there's a bit of a match making dynamic to it. His family is a big one but they are all coupled off, married, kids. He is the youngest of the cousins at 29.
Who knows, maybe with time, the initial panic will fade and he will move on to somebody else.