Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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Missmom75 09/05/2012

I met this guy about a month ago. Actually, I've known him for years but we never really connected. He's a regular at a local cafe/bar here in my town. That night a month ago, he was extremely attentive towards me. I normally wouldn't give him a second look, he's totally not my type. He has those bad boy traits, drives a Harley, has long wild hair, hard worker, of italian decent like me...but he's kinda on the heavy side, not much taller than me. I feel kinda shallow describing him this way lol. But let me tell you, I was so turned on by him that night, just the way he payed attention to me, like I was the sexiest thing on earth. Anyhow, we had a nice time, he didn't come on to strong but made it very clear he was into me. I haven't seen him since except for a few times on the road here and there. I don't think he saw me. Anyway last night I was perusing the dating site I'm on and there he was. I dropped him a line and hooked him. We chatted all night. It was nice, got my mind off whats-his-face. He reminds me of M, his sharp wit, his self-deprocating style. I'm attracted to him. But I'm a little weary, obviously. He's exactly my age, M is 8 years younger than me. This guy isn't shy about showing his interest in me, whereas M was not so forth-coming.
Still though..how do I know? How do I NOT fall for a guy like M? Were hardly there yet but if I let it happen, it could happen. But i so don't want it to happen if he turns out to be anything like my ex.
sigh...

Missmom75 09/06/2012

Creo, I did not pick up on any arrogance at all and you know what? Even if it did come off that way, GOOD! Be arrogant, I certainly will not take offense to that. I think it's great that you're feeling this way, you've come a long way. Tinto, any advice is sound advice, thank you for your input :)
Swelsha, yeah, I have to start relying on my gut. So far, I have nothing to base my fears on, except for well...my fears. He is not sending me any bad vibes, I'm just paranoid, I suppose. My best friend knows him well and she raves about him. He has been in 2 long relationships during teh past 10 years, so that's a good thing.
Peggsu, it's so good to know that the bad boys can sometimes just be good boys in disguise :)

deleted_user 09/06/2012

i would just recommend listening to your gut... if you be your true loving strong self and confront or say what u want to right away instead of agreeing with everything he says and does - dont saydo or tru to figure out how to get him to like you, observe him and see if u like him - dont do ANYTHING you dont want to do, say things just to appease HIM... remember you have choices to make not just please him..... it doesn't take long to see their real self if you are your real self.... i met one guy who after our first meeting flipped out when i told him i was taking things slow, wouldn't sleep with him etc... a few others did not call me back when i told them i wasn't going to have s with them until I knew the relationship was good and moving forward, i dated two guys who were nice enough but the one drank a lot, had his 3rd dwi and was still drinking so i said nope to continuing, another one was nice bought me flowers picked me up and seemed like a gentleman but watching and listening to him made me realize that under all the fake good stuff he was controlling and kind of a creeper..... just be careful... you are strong and smart so use your skills and don't waiver your beliefs.

creo: i am also feeling some positive energy... it feels greeeaattt to be happy without a man to define rather i should be or not.... i bought myself a bed frame yesterday.. start school this friday.... am not feeling sooo down and lonely without a man.... my positive self is coming back...this time i am going to stay strong and not give into what or how others think about me... i DO love myself and it is ok to love myself, stick up for myself, and be happy....

deleted_user 09/07/2012

I am glad to see some of you out there testing the waters and seeing if and what you want..

I am just thinking that if I can get over this guy and be rid of this horrible excruciating pain, man, I NEVER want to be here again! And I dont trust myself one bit, I have repeatedly been hurt and had so much pain that I think maybe I am not even capable of making the proper choices. Maybe I am incapable of loving any men other than those who hurt me. I dont even want to hope because I CANNOT feel pain like this again...

I am proud of you all that are resilient and hopeful..that is strength!

deleted_user 09/07/2012

i hear ya bubbles and everyone... i have been feeling better the last couple of days... kept busy and worked on myself, worked on not obsessing, counting my blessings, likeing myself being positive... today i am tired and have decided to just do nothing.... for right now... I am going to curl up on the couch and watch tv programs i enjoy... take it easy physically and mentally.... hope you all are finding peace even if it is just a pinch of peace for now... xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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