Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
The holidays were great - so I thought. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve night, Christmas night, his family Christmas Party, New Years Eve and New Years day with my BF and his girls. Friday afternoon I shot him a text telling him I was feeling ancy and asked if he wanted to find a cheap place to go for the weekend. I get a return TEXT where he dumps me! WTH? We have been dating for more than a year and a half - just spent our holidays together - i even asked him on New Years if we were OK - he said YES! Now I am told that we are not where we should be in our relationship at this point. We spend the weekends together. We are in constant contact via text or phone and BAM! Thursday afternoon he called me after work to chat about work drama and was texting me most of the night. He came up with a handful of issues- all being mine of course - and used that as his reasoning. Granted, all he said was silly and solvable if he had only talked to me. I later asked him why he never talked to me about anything he is bringing up. He said he is not good at these things and just couldn't deal with it. So instead of dealing with anything - he dumps me!! I am heartbroken and confused. He would not talk to me - said he didn't feel like talking about it. Committed to talk to me over the weekend. His phone was dead most of that time. I finally said screw it and went out of my character and drove the hour to his town. I called and his phone was back on and he answered - like nothing has happened. He met me at Starbucks where we talked in the car. He was like a blank slate - lifeless. He admitted not talking to me - he admitted he took it upon himself to analyze the situation and make all the decisions - like I was not even a party to the relationship. I asked him what I was supposed to tell my daughter (9) and what he was going to tell his (9 and 6). He said there is no need to tell them - they will be fine. I asked him if there was another woman - he told me no - which I tend to believe because we spent all of the holidays together.. He actually said this may have nothing to do with me, maybe he is just broken. Now I'm broken-hearted and at a complete loss.
Jeeez what a gutless loser - sorry that is my initial reaction! After all that he turns out to be shallow and hopeless.
You deserve better, what a waste of time he was and still is.
I wouldn't want a friend who didn't talk to me and was honest, you are better off moving on, run. Don't offer him friendship he's not worth it, and it doesn't make it easier.
Keep your dignity and keep walking past this.
You are worth much more.
It hurts and bruises us inside but it really isn't you who has the issues, clearly.
Whatever the reason was the truth is he isn't honest with you and thats a major flaw right there. You would have ended up being lonely and in a shallow empty relationship with this guy….so one day I hope you can see how he did you a favour!
Go do something nice for yourself!
Delete all his contact info - there now doesn't that feel better!
Hold your head up high sister!!!
xxx
I hate to say it, but although these guys are not good and have bad habits and behaviors, WE participate with them. So in saying that we are good loving women and its all them is not really fair. We need to look at our behaviors and try not to repeat the crap over and over and over again. It only brings more sadness and unhappiness to our lives. So in giving us a list of red flags that maybe you ignored, maybe one of us will choose not to ignore it in one of our relationships. All we can do is keep on trying to figure out ourselves and what we really want.
The pain really sucks, my heart goes out to you. Sometimes when we reflect tho, we only remember a lot of the good things. I think it might help to look at the bad stuff and see why what we can avoid next time.
Now though I try to keep an open mind and tell myself "This one taught you what?" And its just another stepping stone on my journey. I try not to discount the time I spent with past guys, because there was always some good times and hopefully I learned something about the bad times.
Thank you again for sharing your story.
i think this is key to the whole post.
when you say i know i have my own issues BUT..................that concerns me.
i'm not sure if you are facing your issues. this has nothing to do with anyone else sweetie. nothing. this is all about you and your issues. if you didn't have those issues you would n't be having these frustrations.......
focus on yourself.........this is not about him.