Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
The holidays were great - so I thought. I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve night, Christmas night, his family Christmas Party, New Years Eve and New Years day with my BF and his girls. Friday afternoon I shot him a text telling him I was feeling ancy and asked if he wanted to find a cheap place to go for the weekend. I get a return TEXT where he dumps me! WTH? We have been dating for more than a year and a half - just spent our holidays together - i even asked him on New Years if we were OK - he said YES! Now I am told that we are not where we should be in our relationship at this point. We spend the weekends together. We are in constant contact via text or phone and BAM! Thursday afternoon he called me after work to chat about work drama and was texting me most of the night. He came up with a handful of issues- all being mine of course - and used that as his reasoning. Granted, all he said was silly and solvable if he had only talked to me. I later asked him why he never talked to me about anything he is bringing up. He said he is not good at these things and just couldn't deal with it. So instead of dealing with anything - he dumps me!! I am heartbroken and confused. He would not talk to me - said he didn't feel like talking about it. Committed to talk to me over the weekend. His phone was dead most of that time. I finally said screw it and went out of my character and drove the hour to his town. I called and his phone was back on and he answered - like nothing has happened. He met me at Starbucks where we talked in the car. He was like a blank slate - lifeless. He admitted not talking to me - he admitted he took it upon himself to analyze the situation and make all the decisions - like I was not even a party to the relationship. I asked him what I was supposed to tell my daughter (9) and what he was going to tell his (9 and 6). He said there is no need to tell them - they will be fine. I asked him if there was another woman - he told me no - which I tend to believe because we spent all of the holidays together.. He actually said this may have nothing to do with me, maybe he is just broken. Now I'm broken-hearted and at a complete loss.
Also regarding the holidays...I could see spending time with my family or boyfriend for a year and having someone else on the side! Holidays don't mean that you spend them with who you want to. For me anyway I invited my soon to be ex-husband to my parents for xmas cuz he had no where else to go. I did'nt think it was right to leave him alone on xmas. After all they are his kids too. BUT I really wanted to spend it with my new honey. I did not tell my new honey (only 2 months into relationship) that I would be spending xmas with my ex, because I thought that would only hurt him and it would only be one day and my kids would be happy. So I don't get all the emphasis people put on Christmas. I don't really care to spend Christmas with my parents either, but that is what I do.
I wish you luck. Don't ever blame yourself. If he is blaming you then they are HIS issues, not yours. Sometimes people are just not meant to be together. You don't want someone who will not share his feelings and thoughts with you anyway! I did that for 17 years and by then its REALLY hard to leave. But I found how totally cold and dry my relationship was. There was no love. No passion. No companionship. You deserve these things. Don't ever sell yourself short!