I agree with you, he is being selfish and wants you to feel sorry for him. They love people feeling sorry for them.
But he has hurt you. As you said, you are not together and not friends. Don't feel obligated to comfort him.

Best wishes x

Yes. You are the one that offers unlimited support. Though, do beware that his reaching out to you may be limited. I do hope that his mother recovers. My dad was my world and he died on Christmas.

I can only imagine that you want to offer endless comfort via phone calls and texts messages. Take a few breaths first. Because you may end up with that akward silence again. If possible offer your sympathies and wish her a swift recovery.

I say this from experience. Doh. As my ex had lost a five thousand dollar lawsuit. He texted me upon finding out. I asked why are you telling me? He replied he wanted someone to sulk with him.. After several hours.....silence. It was like havng the scabs ripped off of healing wounds. Selfish he was. Disposable I was.

As a good person, you want to comfort him in his time of need. Remember to comfort yourself as well.

Hugs

I am so sorry to hear you lost your dad on Christmas Feshe. I hope you can find some pleasure in the day. It is my favorite holiday, but I keep having to remind myself of that, as I find it very hard to think of him while he is with his family. He tests me throughout the week, he calls me and we talk about all sorts of things. It eventually turns to sexual talk and I asked him why he would do that, since he has no intention of being with me. All he does then is apologize but I never get a reason. He says he loves me, but I don't feel it. When I tell him that, he denies it. I know I am being used for his own emotional satisfaction, for whatever reason he needs that. I wish I was strong enough to not answer when he calls. So strange to have to be there for them whenever and where ever they want us to...and us giving that to them.

You've offered your sympathies which is more than enough. As goingup says, do not feel obligated to comfort him. The following article may help explain why you are feeling this way. Maybe his mother IS ill. Maybe she isn't and he is just using her to press your biggest button, the empathy button.

e7emt, why not block his calls? Better still, change your number!

THE SUPER TRAITS by Sandra Brown



Millions of dollars have been spent on researching the mind of the fascinating psychopaths, but no one but Sandra has researched what draws women to them. Enter the Super Traits.



Women who love psychopaths have some very interesting traits. Women who ended up with these types of me were tested using the TCI (Temperament and Character Instrument). They test off the charts high in the following:



Excitement Seeking, Extraversion and Dominance. I had a resistance to dominance, as I do not consider myself a dominant person, but she explained that dominance encompasses people that feel like they are very in control of their lives.



In these 3 areas, the women scored almost as high as psychopaths. That is the draw, the magnet that pulls them in and draws them to each other.



Aside from those 3 traits, the women were in the 97% percentile for the following traits:



Competitive

Sentimentality

Bonding

Attachment

Tolerance

Friendliness

Empathy

Helpfulness

Compassion

Responsibility

Purposefulness

Resourcefulness

Loyalty

Trust



And that is where the see-saw comes in. Dangerous men are severely lacking if not completely deficient in all of these traits. He pretends to have them and her overage of these traits evens them out. She is over empathic, he has zero. Her empathy covers for his complete lack.



Women who love psychopaths tested very high in relationship investment and positive sociability. These are the kinds of women psychopaths like to target. These cooperation traits are her drawing card to a psychopath. Her over-flowing empathy, tolerance, friendliness, compassion, supportiveness and her moral principles are what balance the lopsided scales of the relationship with him, since he lacks these qualities.



This delicate balance helps to camouflage the glaring gaps of the character traits between them. Her cooperativeness helps to smooth out the character he doesnt have and makes the relationship seem more normal. We think that very high cooperativeness is the most significant reason these specific women were targeted. Psychopaths instinctively know that women high in cooperativeness will stay in relationships with them longer.



Being aware of these Super Traits is very important. If you need a lot of excitement in your life then you should finds ways to build excitement that does not include dangerous relationships and drama. If you are over empathetic, then you should rescue dogs or volunteer at a shelter and not use the empathy in your romantic relationships.

saferelationshipsmagazine.com