Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
I have participated in this site for about a year on and off. It’s what gave me the courage to break up with my ex, but unfortunately we played the merry go round game for another year. Every time the same story and every time I fell for it. It’s been almost 3 weeks since we ended it again. I blocked his number from my phone so I wouldn't be tempted to respond back when he decided AGAIN that he can't live without me. It hasn't been hard, actually quite easy. I feel as though I am at that point where you just don't care and it’s so relieving.
Unfortunately I am beginning to see the damage it has done to my self esteem. A friend of mine wants to set me up with someone. She gave him my number and we texted all weekend and he asked me out. I told him I will have to let him know because of the holiday week, work family and friends, there’s a lot going on. He was cool about it and said ok no rush. Last night I attempted to make plans with him and he didn't seem very interested. His last response to me was “hopefully we can work something out.” Now it’s ok if he's not interested, what my issue is how I feel about his response. In my head I think He's not interested he's blowing me off because I'm not good enough. I was too needy and he can sense it. I asked a male friend and he said I am reading way too much into it........ I deleted his number from my phone. I don't want to text him and I don't want to constantly be checking it for messages. I don't know this man and I have already created all this drama that doesn't exist because I don't feel very good about myself.
I don’t know how to do this. Dating is hard and gets harder the older you get. Maybe I’m just not ready.
Unfortunately I am beginning to see the damage it has done to my self esteem. A friend of mine wants to set me up with someone. She gave him my number and we texted all weekend and he asked me out. I told him I will have to let him know because of the holiday week, work family and friends, there’s a lot going on. He was cool about it and said ok no rush. Last night I attempted to make plans with him and he didn't seem very interested. His last response to me was “hopefully we can work something out.” Now it’s ok if he's not interested, what my issue is how I feel about his response. In my head I think He's not interested he's blowing me off because I'm not good enough. I was too needy and he can sense it. I asked a male friend and he said I am reading way too much into it........ I deleted his number from my phone. I don't want to text him and I don't want to constantly be checking it for messages. I don't know this man and I have already created all this drama that doesn't exist because I don't feel very good about myself.
I don’t know how to do this. Dating is hard and gets harder the older you get. Maybe I’m just not ready.
I realise now I need to work on myself first, my self esteem my life in general as i have nothing but my kids. Otherwise im going to walk into another unhealthy toxic relationship with another Mr WRONG!!
Im new to this site so the only advice I can give you is to give urself a break away from men put urself first work on your self esteem value yourself read previous posts these girlies on here know there stuff have been there and wore the t shirt some still learning.
Keep posting and talking because all together we can get through this and change our lives for the better
Hi Buffylover, Thank you for your advice. I just want so much for someone to love me and unfortunately I tend to not be picky with who it is. I called my dad yesterday to ask him if he can keep my son for me on Saturday night; he said no he was looking forward to the 4 day weekend. He hasn't seen my son since his bday in September and I never ask for anything. He is entitled to want to enjoy his time but after he said no I almost started to cry because the more I think about it the more I start to realize that a lot of my need to be validated comes from him. He was never there for us as kids, he was in and out of jail it was like pulling teeth to get him to see us. I date men just like him.
our mistakes in the men we choose run deeper than just a one time mistake or bad choice usually.
you ARE INDEED ALL OF THOSE BEAUTIFUL THINGS!!! no one can take that away from you. but that doesn't mean you can't have some deep wounds inside of you that need healing and attention. sometimes we create these perfect lives to cover over the hurts.
don't be too quick to move on…..if you move on before you are ready you are bound to repeat the same patterns. you've done a great job by blocking him but 3 weeks out of a sick relationship is not much……..see if you can be alone for a time.
if you are needy they will sense it. that's just how it works. meet your own needs become less needy and then get out there…
xoxoxoxooxxo
we have to learn how to care and love ourselves before we can allow anyone else to. that is why we are emotionally unavailable even though we blame the men. it starts with us. you have to know you are worthy and you really are. you are a mom that right there makes you worthy as hell!!
the void is THE issue. learn how to fill that up and soothe that all by yourself and you will one day find yourself ready to allow a man into your life. the void is not about a relationship. the void is our wound. only we can heal our wounds. wwltm try to fill the void and heal the wound by being with men. it can't ever work that way.
you are enough for your son right now. role models can be important but getting into another unhealthy relationship will teach him more about relationships and how to treat women and his own mother than a role model will teach him. you can teach him about being a good man. he will most likely have role models in his life in the future but it's better to be single and healthy than to be in an unhealthy relationship and pretend that it's for your son's sake……. show him how to solve problems. show him how to grow and improve yourself and in baby baby steps attain goals. show him patience and by all means show him that you are worthy and he will believe he is too. you are his mirror right now and he is a sponge.
all we ever have to do is our very best 24 hours at a time. that's it. we can all make it through one day, even the hard ones, the empty ones, the lonely ones, the sad ones. and we can begin to create some pretty awesome days. let the love from your son sustain you……you don't need some jackass to distract you from that.