No Marie, not at all. I don't know if I am further down the path at all but I don't feel any frustration with anyone here.
@Chut--please be compassionate and easy with yourself. You are fine!

Thanks, swelsha:)

*marie I was thinking the same. "The ladies in the group must seriously laugh at me, they must think I'm a crazy child." But then again, we're here to support each other no matter at what stage we are, right? :) (hug) xx

Thanks, creo....I just wanted to ask.

notyet,

Yeah, def here to support.

But if I really let lose on here, I think the FCC would shut this thing down! lol

*Marie

I also don't completely "let loose" here. I think every one of us likes and wants to keep certain things personal. We share what we want and need to share to get support and advice. I personally need it a lot.

yeah me too.... some things I am going to start writing in a journal on here or my own personal... some thoughts and actions are soo coocoo i don't want anyone to know them.. but I think we understand each other and that is important.... I almost justified contact instead of this site this morning... so I could just escape for those few seconds of escape when i am with him.. but then I would just be sicker tomorrow (if I could get any sicker).... it feels like my heart is dripping some kind of poison into my soul and makes me naseaus, weak, tired, and useless..... but reading and letting your words of encouragement and words of acceptance has helped me feel ok under all the gunk..

when i posted about how angry I am it wasn't because I am an angry person, I am the opposite of that and was tapping into the sad angry part of my being... thought it might help me but it actually makes me more exhausted .... so I am going to cry when I am sad, let it all out that way... i am going to give me heart and soul a break from trying to be perfect, fix things etc and just be where I am at.... knowing at the same time I have a beautiful life to lead and I need to work hard to not dwell on just the bad feelings. it took 49 years for me to get this bad/sad so I need to be patient and gentle with myself but don't want to waiste any more time than necessary dwelling and not moving on...

today I feel like every thing is going to be ok.... if i use God's key to open the door he has planned for me instead of kicking down the doors I know do not have a good prize behind them... soooooo tired

Chut you are great.

I like the way you express yourself.

When I read your posts I feel like Im just listening to you and we're having a conversation.

"......instead of kicking down the doors I know do not have a good prize behind them." <~~~ me too

Hi there I have returned to this group after a 15 month absence. There are a few names I remember but many new (bittersweet....glad that they found group but sad that they need it...)
I am a member of another Daily Strength group and when one goes to add a comment to someone's post this line appears:

"In adding this Comment, I (my name), do promise to be nice"

I suppose we all have our own definitions of "being nice".... Sometimes one may feel one has to be honest and the writer of the post may not be ready for the plain truth and could be hurt?? I dunno....maybe that can happen. There is an abbreviation that one can use IMHO .- in my humble opinion...bla bla...

When I was very active on the discussion borad 2010/2011 I never once felt judged - I am happy for that. I think many of us here do a good enough job whipping ourselves without having fellow sufferers do it more!
I am glad to return to the group and hope I can get caring support and also give some care back to others...

I hope the group will continue in the same spirit as it was once started.....hugs to all

*Chutz

I've also started writing a journal here where I post things I don't feel like sharing on the board. I think it's a fair solution.

For those of you who are new,(welcome back lassie) get the book, it is a great tool and wonderful guideline to go by. it inspired me, and just so happened to be the first book i picked out as i was trying to hide my face walking in to barnes and noble to the "self help" section...out of the three books i took home, this one is the one that hit a nerve, and made me begin to understand, to try and stop the cycle. ill start posting things from the book soon like i used to. What this groups was to what it is now has changed. i think that has partly to do with the fact that somehow my admins were deleted, and i was gone for a while. this used to be a place where people shared freely, and were not self concious on any level. We never judged... this also, isnt about what anyone else thinks of you, and we are all here to learn together. and learn to be true to ourselves. sometimes part of that is having a place to go where you can be yourself, where the "inside your head" voice can be heard, without restraints. of course we all wont get along, and we arent going to all like each other, but we do share common goals, and that is, to get well. to love. to be loved. to be whole. to be healthy. to love ourselves. to be the best we can be and learn to be happy, alone, or with someone. to not be a victim. to break free of the cycle and actuall grow. and in respect of those common goals... we respect each other, and are non judgmental. we are sisters through our heartache. this is not a "break up" site.
or a learn to date site. this for those who have had their whole world crushed and fell victim to a narcissistic person... usually multiple times. we are finding our reality again, and making it our own this time. sometimes we find, that these sites, are the only places that understand. not our family, they dont want to hear it. not our friends... they dont understand why its so hard or why we are so hung up.

and for those of us out there that could have died if we did not break the cycle. and for our children.
counseling is great, but it takes a long time to find a match, and reality, not everyone can afford the prices, or have the medical that would pay for it for extensive periods, and its generally only once or twice a week... there is here, 24 hours a day. if you have something you need to get off your chest, get it off. admit what has happened. even the humiliating things you have done, you cant let it go if you hold it inside afraid of what someone will think. if you are on the verge of a complete meltdown and there is no one to call... write it down. we share in our pain together, becasue we can all sympathize, because we do understand, and we do know that hurt, and how it feels, and we can discuss it deeply, and get to the bottom of it. we can learn from each other, and reveal each other. we grow together. i wrote this as a reminder. and i hope everyone reads this... because this is what i hope for this site. im not pointing fingers, or blame, or any of the above. we are all human. we are all guilty. just once in a while someone has to step and and remind of the groups purpose.

I take what I need and leave the rest alone; leave what I can and hope that someone can be helped by my experiences...

Exactly. This is not directed at any one person. Only that it takes just one person to stir things up. We lost a few very valuable members who had a wealth of information. Some of them counselors themselves. So just a reminder and we start fresh :).

I am new to this type of dialogue--six months in now but I have no previous experience with group therapy nor with 12 step/recovery programs. I know that there are hard and fast rules of conduct that everyone enters into upon entering such a dynamic. Here there were none but for me personally, it has been for the most part a positive experience. We are all sensitive and vulnerable. If anyone in particular speaks out of line, it would be great if people just said it here (or in a private message) in the moment, otherwise, we are all confused. I don't want to get into things further but yes, we did lose some valuable members who were further along the path than I am. For the new people, this is a loss that they do not understand; for me, I regret their departure but get it. I have vacillated myself with staying or leaving--in part because I am feeling like I am getting over things, in part because communication shifted and in a confusing way of late.

And again, I have to say (upon reading my own post) that my experience has been positive. I have felt supported and nurtured. To be honest with you, the moments when I struggled here, I realize that it was my own time to struggle and question--it had little to do with the people here. It was often a moment of true suffering where I wanted more than others could provide or questioned why this post received more responses. It was always about me and where I was at. I think some posts speak to everyone, some to some. Timing, energy, all of it connects to manifest the experience.
Stay in victim, you will get more of the same. Move to empowered, it all shifts and with it responses (and needs around responses--even just being okay with whatever happens--not taking anything personally).