Women who Love too Much Community Group

WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.

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/ Women who Love too Much Support Group

Boomerang

rukia
rukia

I had my heart broken not too long ago by a guy I dated for nearly a month. Needless to say, I fell hard too quickly. Long story short, I thought everything was going great between until he disappears on me. I attempted only 2 times to contact him and never heard from him. I knew that it was over without actually saying a word. This all happened back in early December and I had been in depression for the past few months. Ever since then I’ve been going to therapy and I’m happy to say that I’ve been getting better


Truth be told. Even though what he did was very disrespectful and cruel to me, I still have romantic feelings for this guy. I know I shouldn’t because of what he did. I know I should just forget him and move on. I am trying so hard to move on, but it’s not that easy to forget. That month with him was the happiest I had been in a long time


He messaged me 3 days ago acting very casual by simply asking “how am I?” My heart raced so fast and my mind was spinning. After a couple of hours, I felt the need to tell him straight out how I was feeling. I told him I’ve been ok, but how I was confused to be hearing from him. I hadn’t heard from him for a long time and he comes back like nothing’s changed. He apologizes for how he’s been, but I tell him what I really from him is clarity in all this. I tell him I want to be friends, but he’s not acting like a friend. He tells me he wants to be friends too. Since this was all happening at work, I had to cut the conversation short. I ask if we would talk later, which he said we would. Haven’t heard from him since. I’m trying to stay positive, but I’m torn between letting him go and holding on. Even though I know the answer to what I should do, I just don’t feel ready to do so

artgrrl
artgrrl
In my experience these type of people like to be amused and entertained, As soon as they cease to be interested they discard that person (or behave in such a manner that their partner is forced to leave for their own sanity). Sometimes, however, when they are feeling a bit bored with their current situation they might come around again for an ego boost to see if their former squeeze still has the hots for them. Then they might toy a little with them or just flit away, satisfied that they're still able to get a reaction out of them. Or maybe they realize after checking in again that person holds no interest whatsoever to them so they shove out almost immediately. Since this type of guy (or girl) is primarily focused on securing situations where their needs are being met (exactly), they won't waste time or energy on non-satisfying interactions. It's not your fault, other than not being able to meet the (inevitably) non-realistic expectations of this guy. Cut your losses and run.
rukia
rukia
Thank you very much. I knew that I needed to do that. It’s been really difficult to do that, but I will do my best
HelloFromTheOtherSide
HelloFromTheOtherSide
I have to agree with artgrrl -- this type spells a lot of pain further down the road (in addition to the pain they're already causing). It does sound like he's just looking for an ego boost. But whatever the case, his treatment of you to date has been very disrespectful. Would you treat anyone like this? No, right? Then you shouldn't accept it from anyone else. It's a real struggle, especially when you have romantic feelings for someone, but you need to really put yourself first and refuse to engage.

I really applaud your response to his sudden text, BTW -- you sound like you kept your cool, asked for clarity and called him out on his behavior. All of those show self-respect: yay you!! But in my experience, this type WILL apologize when called out, only to turn around and resume the same behavior once they feel they've got you where they want you. So don't fall for it: demand consistent, 100% respect or nothing! There is no middle ground with these types so don't give him any. HTH!
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