Women who Love too Much Community Group
WHEN BEING IN LOVE, MEANS BEING IN PAIN... This group is to help women through the journey of realizing they can love themselves. To help realize that they are capable of having a happy, healthy, whole relationship and break the cycle of abuse and heartache from loving emotionally unavailable men.
The 14 characteristics common to abused women are:
•Abused women have to guess at what normal behaviour is.
•Abused women have difficulty maintaining their focus and drive.
•Abused women are often paralysed by their own negativity so that they find it hard to start something new and an uphill struggle to see it through
•Abused women judge themselves without mercy.
•Abused women feel they always have to justify themselves.
•Abused women have difficulty being light-hearted.
•Abused women have difficulty trusting.
•Abused women take everything very seriously.
•Abused women overreact and catastrophize even over small problems.
•Abused women faithfully record every last criticism they experience and they discount the praise.•Abused women need approval and affirmation and tend to look for it in all the wrong places.
•Abused women usually feel that they are different to other people as a result of their relationship.
•Abused women are extremely loyal, even despite the evidence that their loyalty is undeserved.
•Abused women envisage a future that will be just as hard as the present.
•Abused women have to guess at what normal behaviour is.
•Abused women have difficulty maintaining their focus and drive.
•Abused women are often paralysed by their own negativity so that they find it hard to start something new and an uphill struggle to see it through
•Abused women judge themselves without mercy.
•Abused women feel they always have to justify themselves.
•Abused women have difficulty being light-hearted.
•Abused women have difficulty trusting.
•Abused women take everything very seriously.
•Abused women overreact and catastrophize even over small problems.
•Abused women faithfully record every last criticism they experience and they discount the praise.•Abused women need approval and affirmation and tend to look for it in all the wrong places.
•Abused women usually feel that they are different to other people as a result of their relationship.
•Abused women are extremely loyal, even despite the evidence that their loyalty is undeserved.
•Abused women envisage a future that will be just as hard as the present.
Since the split, it's been an emotional roller coaster, but I have found that the longer I go without communicating with my ex, the lighter my heart becomes. And then, as soon as I interact with him again, the heaviness returns.
It's a sick cycle, and so difficult to break. I take one step forward, three steps back. I guess, as long as I continue to take those steps forward, I'll eventually get to where I need to be.
GREAT list. Thanks for posting it.
Patty
Perhaps we could draw up a more positive to list to counteract this one - which we can pin up somewhere? We could use it to remind us what we must strive for in future?
Healed women know where their boundaries are.
Healed women have the courage to finish what they start.
Healed women are learning to trust themselves and others.
Healed women speak their truth quietly and in an appropriate way.
Healed women look forward to a content and happy future.
Anyone want to add more....?
Healed women know they are unique and a gift to the world.
Healed women know they are safe,
Healed women have opened their heart to love, to know and to give love and to guard their heart from giving love to those who will not benefit from their love with spiritual growth.
Thanks for posting this. I also see from the 'healthy' list that a person can be both. The process involves straddling the divide and trying not to slip back into the crevice.
Advice for Providing Hope: Exercise patience. It can be very hard for a person to be told for a long time, maybe since forever, that they are nothing, then suddenly rise up and think they are something. Think of it as a stone castle that now has to be dismantled one stone at a time. It's not your responsibility to dismantle it, but it's good if you can refrain from being impatient with her inability to absorb a compliment.