Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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endlessgrief 08/04/2018

After so long and the routines ebb and tides are the same and your life becomes miserable waiting for the "next time" he fucks up. I was wondering if any of you have or had a hard line in the sand. Once that line is crossed, nothing they say or do will ever be enough and you will leave.

We all have our "if he does this ONE MORE TIME, I am DONE!!!" But he does it, and here we are still together. What are some of your "if does XXXX then I will leave immedately?"

DeJa 08/04/2018

endlessgrief, this is such a tough one and I am at that point myself after 15 years of marriage. I hate the waiting and knowing the next time is coming, and when is does will I forgive and he gets another pass or not?
so far, its been over a month since his last 'f-u" and finally able to detach - hold my ground. When we last discussed his behavior I actually told him that " I was not at the CANT LIVE this way, and that I'm at the WONT lIVE this way. .
So far, he is still drinking and not getting help.
However, for the first time I am. so I do feel a little better..
I am actually getting ready to see a therapist, and attending CODA , Al-anon meetings, and here. (love this group) Hopefully, I will know what I am going to do - trying to really hear Gods voice. sending positive thoughts and HUGS to you.

Goldilox 08/11/2018

Mine was that he was 8 months in to a 4th rehab attempt in 5 years and bought me flowers (very rare) so I was super happy that he had actually thought outside his own non-drinking misery and we made love that night properly (I thought). I then found out it was when he started drinking again so they were guilt flowers and I felt dirty, like I had been used and abused. And I have told him no more. I just cannot and will not continue to live this hopeful/hopes smashed life anymore. I am done. Early days but there's nothing he could do now to change how I feel. We've hit the end and that's it.

harrisbaby 08/17/2018

I left my AH now for the 4th time. He's trying to suck me into giving it another try but he couldn't even stay sober the one weekend I stayed the night with him after being separated for a month. Bottom line: if they care enough, they will get the help they need to stop drinking FOR GOOD. We should not have to threaten or draw a line. I have hoped in the promise of change and been devastated over and over. I feel your pain. I try to remind myself it won't change and if it does by a miracle, I won't have to do anything.

endlessgrief 08/20/2018

Oh, but don't you know ladies that this is a DISEASE???? Would you leave your husband if he had CANCER?

How many of you have heard THAT PHRASE thrown at you?

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