Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
I have belonged to this discussion group for several years now. The support has really been great. It has been helpful to check in periodically to hear other women echo the same sentiments I'm feeling. It takes a long time to gather the strength to make such a big move. For the past few years I've debated whether it's better to stay together, where the kids would see him under the influence only sporadically, but now the drinking has escalated and I can see it's taking a toll on my teenage daughter. It's time to break away. I'm meeting with my attorney tomorrow morning to file for divorce. I feel liberated.
What you are about to do is a very big step to
Getting your life back and showing your daughter that
You can make your life better. It's hard at times but very much
Worth it..
Big hug for courage
When no one else is there God is always there for you
I wish you luck and I hope it goes smoothly.
It's kind of funny, I've been divorced for two months exactly today and I've been questioning whether I did the right thing. Your post has reminded me that I filed because I couldn't live that way anymore and most importantly I couldn't let my kids think that our situation was normal. Granted they are all grown now, but as moms we are always teaching and being role models for our kids, young and older alike.
Sending you every good wish as begin your journey!
Sending you every good wish as you begin your journey!
Ginny - I have the same thoughts about being respectful & hoping to get the same in return. I'm not out to hurt him or strip him of all his belongings in a vindictive manner by any sense. I'd like to be able to stay in our house until my kids graduate, and then sell. He is upset and asked which paper I'd like to see his obituary in, eluding to a very bad ending. I was so angry and said, "how dare you?". "You have 2 choices, sober or death (cause he's killing himself slowly w/vodka anyway) - are you saying you want to consciously choose death over sobriety and the opportunity to have good relationships w/all of us?" I think he was a little shocked. I hope he chooses sobriety, but I can't alter my plans. I have found strength in your posts.
Julie, thank you for your comments as well. Seeing the effect on my daughter was the final straw. I want to prevent her from repeating the pattern in her own relationships. I'm looking forward to the absence of that depressed aura he brings wherever he is. He spends so much time on the couch, we all avoid that room in the house. He sits in the darkness watching tv and it drives me nuts.
I left the consultation w/my attorney feeling very strong and committed. Loads of paperwork on my plate this weekend, then he'll file. I have had some sad moments, but then I recall how much I really have been on my own over the past 8 years, and that strength comes rushing back! Positive music has helped too.
I had wanted an amicable divorce as well. I had him served in August and again in November (we had canceled it after he sobered up and had planned to reword the docs and submit again after the first of the year). Sadly, he went ballistic both times. I do hope yours going smoothly and amicably. Have a plan though, just in case.