It's ok to be frustrated. Like in my marriage, I have said he (or we), couldn't take on any projects unless he got a handle on his drinking.

I don't think you're being ungrateful. You'd think if he already has the siding that it would be taken care of considering it's been years. I understand your frustrations. His priories are clearly not the house if the weekends after solely devoted to drinking. Hugs to you.

Hi Dolly,
are you able to afford to pay a workman to put the siding up, since you have it there already? My AH who was so gung-ho to fix up our house when we bought it is now incapable of sticking to any sort of plan with it. I've begun hiring repair people, as we can afford a project, to do the things he had said he would do, but now just can't. And frankly, I don't want my drunk husband doing the work. I can just imagine how it would turn out. Sending hugs!

Hi! Your frustration is not uncalled for. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same way!

Oh yes, you have a right to be upset. Our house has fallen into such disrepair it is ridiculous. About 6-7 years ago, the big picture window in the living room got broken in a spot. Do you think any tax money has ever gone to that. The fence is rotted so much that it is coming apart everywhere. The roof leaks in the diningroom, lights need to be replaced. But all they want to spend their money on is alcohol, all their time on drinking.

Yes, you have all rights to be frustrated. The only thing my AH does around the house is cut the lawn a few times a month. We bought our home New 12 years ago but with wear n tear little things need to be replaced. But I don't see that happening unless I pay someone to do it for us. He used to work on our vehicles when needed but this is another thing that i've had to find help on elsewhere. I feel your frustrations!

Completely understand your frustration. In so many situations I feel alcoholics dream big but don't realize that they're the ones stopping themselves short. Whether they are honest with themselves or not. My boyfriend totally realizes his problem, and what it's caused, etc., but he won't accept the limitations it still has given us. We've lost every single door in our apartment due to drunken slamming/punching/kicking, and desperately need holes covered, new paint, etc. He'll walk around the house and get angry about it, and rattle off a list for me of things we need to get fixed... but never gets anything done about it. Because he refuses to take the time off, spends his money drinking, etc. But it's really hard to say "I understand that you want these things, but it's up to you to actually achieve them". On a level-headed day I suggest explaining this to him, that he's the only one stopping himself from getting what he wants, and if he doesn't get on it, the project needs to be dropped because that's what you want, and your opinion matters too- especially if you only stopped caring because he stopped doing. Best of luck!!!