Sound like withdrawal . He could be a functional alcoholic
Many prayers and hugs.. this is a long sad road you are traveling.

The best advice I can offer you is that you are entitled to your feelings, and if you feel bad and want help than that's ok and you're right to feel that way. Just because he is sober here and there, it doesn't discount when he isn't, and that clearly makes you feel a certain way, enough to want to seek help at Al-Anon and here...and honestly, I'm proud you did! Just know that it all starts somewhere...those days of sobriety eventually get smaller and smaller until one day he might be that guy passed out in the gutter. I always knew my husband liked drinking, I always thought it was the age because we met when he was 23, so it was parties and hanging out with friends. Eventually it became drinking at home, then drinking at home alone, then passing out became more frequent, until suddenly he was drinking at work. Needless to say he lost his job and 3 years later he still hasn't gotten steady work. Just as he was about to get everything back and had a long sober ride of 3 months, he fell onto another binger. Now I'm stressing about whether or not it's all going to work out and feel foolish for allowing myself to believe again only to be disappointed yet again. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart, but I wouldn't wish this life on anyone. It's hard, and it takes a lot out of me, it's an emotional roller coaster. Whatever you choose, just know that you always have support somewhere and that at the end of the day you have to take care of yourself. never forget that! I wish you and him the best of luck.

Thanks ladies.

I have felt foolish so many times as well. It's almost like I have no long term memory. I forget so quickly the drunken episodes, the parties missed, the plans cancelled - all because he smelled like alcohol already. It's like these bad drunken experiences are erased by just one sober day when he is the kind, funny, dependable man I met a year ago.

That's how I know denial is so strong with me, but sometimes I need to sanity check it with other women who are experiencing the same thing. Denial feels safe. And fear and doubt about whether I'm doing the right thing (I'm starting the eviction process in court on Monday) haunts me so I can't sleep at night and I can think of nothing else during the day.

Bottom line, I know that alcoholism only gets progressively worse and I want to get out before my heart endures any more damage, and most of all, before my 3 month old son gets hurt or neglected. My boyfriend's grandfather died of alcoholism, his dad is an alcoholic and my boyfriend himself waited until he was 27 to drink for the first time because he didn't want to be come an alcoholic. Sadly, this seems to be his destiny but I don't have a crystal ball to confirm he can stay sober, so the risk isn't something I can take with a baby in the mix. Relapse is just so common as you mentioned @ams6785.

When I was younger just about every guy I knew acted as your boyfriend does so I am by no means saying that your boyfriend is an alcoholic, but my husband is and use to admit it. When he first relapsed he was able to drink casually, and I thought that he must not be an alcoholic (I had married him under the assumption that he was a recovering alcoholic), but over time, he slowly gets back to drinking until he is drunk a couple of times a week and then the two or three days without anything to drink becomes only one. He may go one day a every couple of weeks without drinking anything as if to prove he can do it, but he is usually shaky and miserable. Honestly half the time, by six o'clock, I just want to fill a wine glass to the rim for him so I can relax for that hour before he becomes drunk. I sometimes don't think I belong on this site because he is not passing out or irresponsible, but I also no from our last time down this road that it doesn't end well. I live in a constant state of anxiety because all though he is happy (just loud, repetitive, and stupid), I have to be ever so careful that I do not say anything to upset him or reinforce his drinking. We both know that this time he will choose alcohol over me, which I have come to terms with. I can't ask him to stop drinking because the last time he did, he resented me the whole time. It hurts to know that the person you love chooses drinking over you, and it is hard to raise a family when you can't count on your spouse for support. Although my life could be some much worse, if my husband was a fall down abusive drunk that couldn't hold a job, I will say I have learned that he has the potential for those things. It all depends on what you are able to put up with and seeking help for yourself is never wrong.

Welcome Jenny. Spend some time reading through all the posts and you will see the full spectrum of types of alcoholics. Some hold very high paying jobs, some are abusive, some don't work at all. Throw kids into the mix and it makes everything 100 times harder. It does sound like your bf is an alcoholic. It's depressing to be around, and before you know it you are isolating yourself from family and friends. If you were my sister I would tell you to get out. Hugs to you.

My husband is the exact same way. He can go even weeks of being sober then he hits a wall and its weeks of drinking, being drunk, and withdrawal. Its a hard ride for both of you. I can say this much, you have every right to feel however you feel. The craziness, the confusion, the conflict...its all apart of the alcoholism! You have a choice like all of us on this site. We all get to decide what our limits are. Draw your lines and stick to them. Learn to detach from his behaviors and know what your worth is. I love my husband more than anything in the world...but I've decided not to go down with him if thats what he decides to do. If he fights the addiction I will be beside him all the way. Wise advice given to me was this; Alcoholics watch what we do and do not listen to what we say...We listen to what they say and ignore what they do. Actions speak louder than words. We all struggle with this. Its the nature of the beast! Most importantly you are not alone! HUGS AND PRAYERS!!!!

I would say my husband drinks much less than I see here, but he hides vodka in the garage and once in a while he sneaks drinks until he is slurring and staggering.
We go out to parties etc and both drink a bit too much, but the hidden drinking is what makes me think he's an alcoholic.
We have been together/married for more than 35 years. The vodka is relatively recent...if you are already dealing with blackout drinking, run, don't walk away.