I guess I shouldn't say "newly", but we've only been married for two years this month. I'm twenty-eight, he's thirty-six. My husband is an amazing man. Funny, kind, generous, and a hardworker. However, alcohol has quickly become a problem in our marriage. He has always been a heavy drinker for as long as I have known him, and he even admitted he's been this way for most of his life. However, it never interferred with our relationship until about a year ago. Maybe things started getting bad before then, but I just turned a blind eye. I don't know. 

He has become a lazy, lethargic person and it makes me resentful. I've been keeping this pent up for so long but last night I finally broke down to a friend. My husband is a functioning alcoholic. We've had this discussion many times over the past year. I always ask him to get help, to let me help start a path to recovery. He claims he can stop anytime he wants, but I have yet to see it happen. At the most, he'll stop for three days and then start again. He'll drink a six-pack of tall beers each night along with a handful of vodka drinks. He'll stay up until about 2am playing video games and pass out on the couch. I go to bed alone every night and wake up alone. The drinking has made him gain a lot of weight-- something we've also talked about, but he hasn't made an effort to lose it either. The weight gain has had a huge affect on our sex life. I know he's self-conscious now, but he also says it has made his sex drive go way down. We haven't been sexually active for maybe three months now...I would say we've had sex maybe ten times this entire year. And when we do have sex, it feels like it's just because we "have to". Like I've complained about it so now we're obligated to do it...there's no passion and I usually end up in tears afterwards because it's just miserable. 

The amount of housework he does has declined. I'm grateful for the fact that he takes out the trash, mows the lawn, keeps the bills in order, etc. But I feel like I'm stuck doing everything else....a new thing that's been happening is he refuses to do the dishes if they are mine. So if I have breakfast before work and don't have time to wash my plate, he'll do all the dishes that are his but leave mine. I don't understand this! Maybe because I was raised to believe that housework is a team effort. Furthermore, I clean up after him all the time! I couldn't tell you the amount of times I've scrubbed beer off our brand new couch because he passed out with a pint glass in his hand. Just this morning I cleaned up dry, crusty pasta sauce from all over the stove where he spilled it late last night while he was drunk. 

I know I sound bitter and jaded. I hate complaining but I'm lonely and I'm miserable and this is not what a marriage is, right? I've talked to him so many times about going to AA or doing something. I don't understand why me telling him the drinking makes me resent him hasn't done anything! It makes me feel like alcohol is more important. My friend I spoke to thinks I should leave temporarily to show that I'm serious about him changing. I don't know if that's a good idea or not. At the moment, it's a Sunday at 7pm and he's passed out from drinking already. 

I love him, but am I wrong for wanting more?? I just want to go to bed with the person I love every night. I want to spend a day together where there's no drinking involved. I don't want to feel like I'm the one keeping the house in order. 

I don't know what to do anymore. Just feeling lost and depressed. Thank you to anyone who reads this-- I needed a vent.