If you have to live with mom and dad for awhile, until you can find something that work, that may be what you will have to do eventually. You may also start stashing small amounts of money away to save when you finally do go. You cannot wait forever for him to see that he has a problem. Things will get worse before he does that. He will probably start drinking more and more frequently and you will slowly see the man you love disappear, until one day you wake up and realize that he has totally left and all that is left is the alcoholic. Start finding ways to make some money and keep it hidden, work on yourself and your happiness and taking care of your child. Let everything else that is out of your control, like his drinking, run its course, but always be moving forward to better your situation eventually. I wish you love and happiness.

thank you for your reply, its just so hard with a 4 year old and 2 dogs in tow but i know i cant make that my excuse forever. ive tried leaving once before last year (for a week) and what made me go back was my son constantly asking to go home, and my partner begging forgivness promisong to change and seeing a counsellor etc. we had been seeing a councellor up until 2 weeks ago when he turned up to the meeting having already had a drink and i think she just thought were going round in circles, although she did say to keep in touch and she will help if we decide to split etc. The problem is he sees things so differently to me, he says i focuse on the negative and not the positive nice times that we have and that he is trying to change but its going to take time, i dont see going out every 2/3 days as trying! glad i found this page as i think it will help to get advice from people in the same situation.

Michelle31 I have been married to my AH for 30 years. Our children are grown and have their own families now. Although i'm not alone with him because we just adopted 2 of our teenage granddaughters last summer. He has always been a drinker but when we first got together it was more beer than whiskey. Now its the opposite! I went through many years of ups and downs and he was and still is a great provider and has spoiled me. Our kids were active in sports and he always managed to coach and help head up the little league baseball team in our town. But the older our children got the more he drank, Now i'm the one that has all responsibilities with the granddaughters. I can't trust or depend on him to take them to events and anything due to his drinking. I feel like a single mom already. I have a job but it's not enough to be financially set for me at this time to leave him. If it were just me I probably would have already moved in with my daughter. My mom used to tell us girls that we needed to put some mad money away for just in case we ever needed it. At the time I was willing to stay and endure whatever I had to just to not have the worries of leaving and taking care of the kids on my own. But now that i'm 50 I see just how much i've missed out on. I could of had more and i'm learning that the material things that I felt that I needed, I really didn't need. I have my health, I have my beautiful kids and grandkids, i'm not dependent on alcohol or drugs. But the one thing that I don't have is a happy marriage. I have a husband that is drunk 98 % of the time that I see him. His coworkers have more of a sober relationship with him than I do! And sadly I have a very good friend luckily not in the same state that I have become very close to. I feel my heart changing in so many ways. I don't know if this is good or bad am I seeing things in him that I wished were in my husband??? He has been my rock this past year, never tries to sway me from my marriage but is genuinely there for me when i'm down and need a friend to talk to. I guess what i'm trying to tell you is think about what you want and whats best for you and your child. If you need to put some mad money away start now. Take chances if your able and follow your heart. Live your life for you and enjoy every minute of your childs life they grow up so fast. Don't let alcohol consume you or make you bitter. I've always seen myself growing old with this man I don't see that anymore. But I do know something that I haven't felt in a long time.... I will be ok! Good luck to you!

Thank you for your comments, I really feel for you having put up with this for 30 years, it's been bad enough for me really for the past 4 years but really really bad this past year. I feel as though I have no life, all I do is look after our son and our house while he swans round here there and everywhere doing what ever he wants and when he wants to do it, no responsibilities or ties. He's self employed and actually manages to do very well in his business so is never short of money, I think I do need to just be smarter now and start saving my way out of this, I've always thought it seems so decietful but in reality what he's doing to me is worse. I Feel so stressed this last few days as he just hasn't bothered coming home and gets on with his life like it's not a problem. So selfish and I feel sorry for my son who thinks he's working when in reality he could make more effort to be here But he clearly doesn't want to be. Problem with my partner is he wants everything his way and to pick us up and drop us when it suits him.

when our kids were younger he would be there for sporting events even though he was drinking and half the time making a butt of himself, but other than that he didn't really do anything else with us. He would promise to go fishing even bought a boat that was only used a few times. Back then he would take his time coming home from work as I did manage to stop the bar hanging out early in our marriage so he would try and hang out with buddies that drank. Don't know what happened the past several years he drinks by himself occasionally when he's mad at me he will go to a buddies house. He doesn't have any close friends only co workers. There has been several times over the 30 years that that I get to a breaking point it usually last a couple of months this time i'm going on a year. I guess the older I get the less I wanna put up with and the more he drinks the worst he gets! My kids and grandkids keep me busy. We live in Florida so we take frequent trips to Disney. Just another reason for him to drink since i'm spending his money.... Just try to focus on you and your son have fun with him and try not to stress. I was told the other night in Al-anon to focus on things that make you happy.