Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Hi Everyone-
In July oru marriage counselor staged an intervention for my H. He was supposed to get an eval. and go for treatment. I told him that if he refused to do so then I would leave. Well, he weaseled his way out.....told the counselor he would stop drinking on his own. She told me that if he drank again then I needed to leave for my sake and the sake of my kids.
I have suspected all along that he has not stopped drinking, but found out for sure last Friday that he has not. He begged me not to leave him. I told him in order for me to stay he will need to get an eval. and go to AA meetings at least once per week. He is totally pissed that I am "making" him do this. Of course he does not have a drinking prob. in his eyes. It's everyone else who has the probs.
He did go to an AA meeting tonight, reluctantly. He claimed that he is not like the other people there. Some of them have lost their families and jobs. I wanted to laugh. He's holding onto his family and job by a thread! He is so deep in denial. It is sooooo frustrating.
Here is my question....Is there any point for my H to go to AA meetings or outpatient treatment since he doesn't believe he has a prob? I have always heard that an alcoholic will not stop drinking until they admit they have a problem and actually WANT to quit. Am I just wasting my time thinking that there might be a slight chance that he will quit drinking? Should I just go ahead and leave and save myself the time and misery and heartache? I do love my H very much. He is very thoughtful and wonderful at times. Then other times he is hateful.
I have children from a previous marriage. I have primary custody of them and do not want to risk losing them because I am married to an alcoholic. I will no longer let my H drive with my kids in the car. I just don't trust him.
Thanks,
Kayley
In July oru marriage counselor staged an intervention for my H. He was supposed to get an eval. and go for treatment. I told him that if he refused to do so then I would leave. Well, he weaseled his way out.....told the counselor he would stop drinking on his own. She told me that if he drank again then I needed to leave for my sake and the sake of my kids.
I have suspected all along that he has not stopped drinking, but found out for sure last Friday that he has not. He begged me not to leave him. I told him in order for me to stay he will need to get an eval. and go to AA meetings at least once per week. He is totally pissed that I am "making" him do this. Of course he does not have a drinking prob. in his eyes. It's everyone else who has the probs.
He did go to an AA meeting tonight, reluctantly. He claimed that he is not like the other people there. Some of them have lost their families and jobs. I wanted to laugh. He's holding onto his family and job by a thread! He is so deep in denial. It is sooooo frustrating.
Here is my question....Is there any point for my H to go to AA meetings or outpatient treatment since he doesn't believe he has a prob? I have always heard that an alcoholic will not stop drinking until they admit they have a problem and actually WANT to quit. Am I just wasting my time thinking that there might be a slight chance that he will quit drinking? Should I just go ahead and leave and save myself the time and misery and heartache? I do love my H very much. He is very thoughtful and wonderful at times. Then other times he is hateful.
I have children from a previous marriage. I have primary custody of them and do not want to risk losing them because I am married to an alcoholic. I will no longer let my H drive with my kids in the car. I just don't trust him.
Thanks,
Kayley
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I don't know for you, for your situation, but it was after a year of AA meetings and 2 detox events that my AH began to lose his denial.
He's still waffling.
However, slowly, the don't- drink-really-YOU-are-an-alcoholic message seems to be sinking in, with mine. So if yours is really going, not lying about it, there may be hope.
On the other hand, do you have a year to wait? To waste?
You have to try to do what's right for you and the kids. my H attends AA meeting regularly since he went to rehab back at the beg of may. he never thought it would help him, but now he thinks differently. but he had to come to that on his own - I couldn't force him. my husband sees a variety of people in those meetings - some who have been coming and stayed sober for over 20 years and some who come to 1-2 meetings then disappear only to show up 3 months later having been back to rehab/detox and some who show up drunk each week. each person is different. mezz is right - it's really a question of what you can live with - your therapist might be able to help you determine where your line is and what you'll do if he crosses it.