My partner has been sober since January after drinking at some level or the other all his adult life. He's always been high functioning with a cushy high paying job and was a fun drunk, so drinking never seemed an issue until it was. Even now, he sometimes points out that it seems many people (including family like his mom) seem to like him better drinking. Quitting was health related with the effects of liver damage more than due to "direct issues" with work, family and relations. Of course, with the liver damage, I did see more serious effects starting with sleeping more, losing short term memory, losing appetite etc. So far, so good, as far as sobriety. Much has improved with energy levels, not having as much brain fog, and he seems to be good with telling me the times he does wish he could have a drink for whatever reason. As far as our relationship, it was and still is pretty good considering. Of course, I/we can't really know what the future holds, but right now, I really like and probably appreciate his sobriety more than anyone else (again, many seem to see him as not as fun or funny or emotive or whatever). Having said that, I'm struggling with the loss of our sex life. I hate to even bring it up, but while drinking, we had sex a lot and maybe due to the effects of the liver issues on the brain and such, we had a huge sex life for months right before ending in the hospital and well, he hasn't touched me since he stopped drinking. We've had sex maybe twice because I successfully initiated it and that's about it. I have talked to him about it a couple times and I am trying to be understanding that it's going to be a process, but I also have my own past issues and triggers, as well. Even though I intellectually know, emotionally, I'm really feeling like I'm not wanted sober. I've been really trying not to push and be supportive and most definitely not fall into the "you like me better drinking" that he's brought up with others. It's definitely not true and I told him I'd much rather have him sober than have sex, but to be honest with you all in this space, I really would like to have some level of sex life again at some point and ideally a little sooner than later. At this point, I have searched and have read it can take some time, but in some cases it seems like people are like "wow, it's so much better now!" I've also seen accounts of underlying issues that were masked with the alcohol or it really causing issues longer term and well, it's overwhelming to take it all in. There is much going on with us both and our lives, but for me, this is what's making me cry in the night. Maybe that's on me and my own issues at play, but it's the truth of it.