Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Brianna94
Brianna94

Hi everyone! I'm new here and really just need someone to talk to that understands. I am 32 weeks pregnant with my husband and I's first child. I just found out over the weekend that hes been hiding his alcoholism from me for 2 years, I really had no idea. We've been saving for a house, and have been super tight on money, and now I keep finding credit card after credit card that he racked up money on paying for his alcohol. I just feel so completely hurt. The money, the days that he bought alcohol (for instance, I said I didn't want an anniversary gift because we were saving money, but he stopped at the liqour store and bought himself something that day), how often he bought it, the fights we had when really he was drunk and I just didn't know it. I'm nearing the end of my pregnancy and now I don't even recognize my husband. I don't know what I expect out of this I just feel awful.

Rose_Shadows
Rose_Shadows
Hi I'm new too. I'm sorry you are going threw this. You are becoming a momma, now that is amazing.
Your momma bear instincts are going to kick in. You might not know what to do now but you aren't alone .
Laura82
Laura82
I am sorry. It is a tough time being pregnant and to find this out too. I actually found out about my husband’s alcoholism while pregnant. You need to put you and your baby first. If you can hid any money away, try to. Hang in there. Maybe seeing his child will help him clean up. Wishing you the best and sending support.
pietro84
pietro84
So, if he was hiding it, he must:

A - know it is a problem
B- feel guilty and ashamed of himself
C- possibly be at a point where a major change in his life is something he is ready for.

Is there a history of alcohol use/abuse in his family?

May the force be with you
ginger7657
ginger7657
I agree that you should put some $$ away. Stash it somewhere that he won’t know about. I’m sorry that you are dealing with all of this while pregnant too. You have all these extra hormones and feelings too, and I know that can be hard to deal with. If he will get help, encourage him to. Because the longer this goes on, the harder that will be to talk him into I believe. I have been dealing with a binge drinker/ alcoholic for several years now. So I know those feelings all too well.
harrisbaby
harrisbaby
I know about trying to save money and the AH continues to spend it on their addiction at will. It seems so inconsiderate. I also know about their hiding the alcohol and making you think there are other reasons for subsequent problems. My AH refuses to acknowledge that his alcoholism has ruined his life. I'm wife number 4 so that should tell you something. I don't know if there's any hope. In my situation I don't think there is. I pray for your sanity. I would recommend finding a good Al Anon group and try to take care of yourself.
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