Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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Ceecee1 03/14/2018

We all know how lonely this life is that we are leading. I'm just really struggling. I want a man in my life....ya know, in a certain way. I won't with my AH anymore (it's been 2 years). I don't trust him with the constant lying and hiding his drinking and it's my only way of truly expressing how I feel about what he has put me through for many years now. He's my best friend (why?) and I feel sorry for him, but I just can't give in to that, nor do I want to with him anymore. I'm not even attracted to him. I also don't want to be a cheater or an adulterer. I suppose getting divorced would be the "right" thing to do before I go find someone else, but we have kids and I don't want to put them through a divorce. Cheaters always get caught and low and behold, I'll become the bad guy and he'll tell everyone I cheated, but not why!!!!

Catsden 03/14/2018

Ceecee1, I feel the same way except that I can't confined in my husband. My husband isn't a touchy feely guy, I had a husband who was perfect but I blew that a long time ago. I understand being lonely, I lived in the same house with hi for many years and felt alone. I'm not sure I want a divorce but I don't want to get physical with my husband. I moved out in September and I think that decision was correct.
I also feel sorry for my husband, he can be a sweet person, but then he drinks.
Trust me you are not alone. Prayers that you and I make it through this.

DSTRICK 03/14/2018

I too understand, my AH is a touchy guy and even though he can't really perform he still insist on trying. I used to give in and just let him have his way but i'm tired of feeling like I just slept with someone I can't stand. And I really can't stand him when he's drunk! When sober i'm still reeling from the hurtful words he throws at me because I won't give into him. Its a never ending situation. I don't have to cheat to get accused, so sometimes I feel like it just so I can say YES, YES I did.... I had a long talk with my Pastor last night and she made me feel better about my situation saying that God knows exactly what i'm going through and how many years I have tried to make this work out and if I did choose to leave it would be understandable. In the back of my head I think of how were suppose to forgive and love one another the way God does... I hear this every Sunday in church and it makes me feel like a failure. She explained that yes, you are suppose to forgive and love each other but you can't control how others react and one person can only take so much. Hugs and prayers!

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