Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
Had another night when my AH had too much to drink, and started arguing. This time it was late, we watched a tv show with the kids and it was time for them to go to bed. He has always been on top on the issue of the kids going to bed on time, but tonight he decided that everyone should watch an old movie together... It was an R rated movie and would go until past midnight... I questioned whether the kids should be staying up this late and watching am R rated movie... He then turned the tv off and blamed me for the whole issue and convinced the kids it was me that was ruining everything... We all went up to bed to get ready, but as usual he goes downstairs to "text"... There has been issues in the past with him texting his employees late at night and his reasoning was that he went to her for support because I didn't give him any... Don't know where to go now
Oh, do I understand. I'm so sorry you had to deal with him and his drunken choices tonight. I've dealt with similar circumstances. It's just wrong. And your instincts are spot on. Your kids did need to go to bed on time, and not watch that movie, and you could see that. He's in the wrong. But his alcoholic brain won't be able to see that.
I don't think I have any advice on dealing with him. But what I try to do is focus on what is best for my kids. That does two things. It makes sure that my kids have one mature parent, making choices in their best interest. And secondly, it does take my mind off of AH, for the time being.
Your instincts are good. Try to remember that. We tend to doubt ourselves and our gut feelings. But when it comes to dealing with an alcoholic, our gut feelings are usually accurate.
Sending hugs and prayers your way.