Wives of Alcoholics Community Group

A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.

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hope0612 07/27/2014

I was wrong.

He is totally shitfaced -- 1 pm in the afternoon. I told him we were done. He wouldn't talk to me. Did not seem to care at all.

How do I protect myself from being financially liable if he kills someone driving drunk or keep from having to support him when he loses his job if these things happen before I can divorce him?

Ginny03 07/27/2014

I think you have to legally separate, contact your lawyer as soon as you can. So sorry Hope.

deleted_user 07/28/2014

Advice I received while worrying incessently about our finanical future.....1) Increase your policy on your car to $1,000,000 or even $300,000, not a lot more money but a LOT of peace of mind. 2) Get your home deeded in your name, draw up the documents and get him to sign AFTER a bout of drinking where he is feeling remorseful. But the best advice I received from a GREAT counselor, was to write a plan. Physically sit down and write a plan that you will put into place when he crosses a line. The line that YOUR choose and be specific about that line and the actions you will take. Then stop worrying, the plan is your protection. You have it in writing, I have reviewed my several times and pray and hope I never have to follow through with it. But it does prevent me from thinking about it all the time. I just know that he has control of how this plays out. Remind yourself they are HIS choices. Hang in there.

hope0612 07/28/2014

Thanks. I thought I had a plan. Not the steps to complete it, but I thought if he ever drank again the line was hard and fast and we were through.

Now I am not sure. He slipped -- can he pick himself up? He says he wants to be sober, but it was getting harder, not easier as the days went by.

I need a few days to think about it and see if he will take any action to get the support he needs to get sober. This is so depressing.

deleted_user 07/29/2014

Hi Hope,
It is so sad when we start to feel so hopeful only to once again be blindsided by this horrible illness. I recently came across this article and thought that you might find it helpful.

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/11/08/the_toll_of_addictions.html

Take care of yourself. Hugs

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