Wives of Alcoholics Community Group
A forum of healing and help for wives of alcoholics.
My AH has been sober for 3 days says he's doing it himself went to doctor for tablets and today on the 4 the day I smelt alcohol off his breath he was clinging on to a bottle of Coke like it was the crown jewles so I was bit suspicious I smelt and tasted it was vodka I said I knew it I could smell it his response was theirs no smell of vodka , I don't drink myself so I def know the difference when theirs alcohol even after I tasted it he still wouldn't admit it !! Told me he's been really good and I just needed to trust him why lie when your caught out over the weekend thise few days when he wasn't drinking the house was such a lovely place to be and we were all happy and that made the children even happier not to se daddy "grumpy "but today it changed and this evening he's trying to start a fight and I just am trying to bite my lip n not say anything it's soo annoying and frustrating I really taught things were going to turn around
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Hi. This is my first post. I'm here because my husband is an addict and it's having a negative impact on our marriage and my emotional and mental well being. He's an alcoholic who is also addicted to pornography and video gaming. He spends every moment that he isn't at work or sleeping drinking beer, playing his video games, and looking at porn. He's completely pushed me out of his life. We don't...
He isn't ready or willing to be authentic in this journey.
His "normal" is populated with lies and deception and he has got to get brutally honest with himself and be willing to turn that upside down.
That is where so many find AA to be a key ingredient of the first days/weeks/months/years of sobriety.
may the force be with you
Even now I believe him when he says he’s getting sober, he’s stopping drinking. Time will tell.
I fully understand your frustrations. I have no advice, except that I have found Al-Anon to be very helpful for me. So worth getting over my fear of going to a meeting!
Are the other family members aware of all of this?
In order for this to transition to successful it has to be his decisions and allegiance to himself, but have a whole family encouraging and expressing concern and support might tip the scales.
He is used to lying to you. The siblings probably less so.
May the force be with you
He made it a few days, which means that the intervention shook something loose and there was a desire to make a change. May not have been for the right reasons and didn't sustain, but there was a little flicker there.
When I was at that teetering on the brink phase, I hated myself and new I was on borrowed time. I didn't know how to change or if there was anything else left for me. It was awful.
His lashing out and baiting was probably just a projection of his own system being in freak out mode and everything being out of balance. The physical side of withdrawal is much easier than the psychological side.
How have the last 48 hours been?