I think this disease is stronger than whatever will they have in the morning when they're sober. Everyday I think about separating. Everyday I give him another chance. A few days sober and I start hoping again. But it comes back, always. I don't think hell ever be sober again. One month in rehab could not achieve it and the prospect of losing his family doesn't seem to either. We just need to find the strength to do what's best for us and our kids. We just need to be brave and let go and that's what I'm preparing myself mentally to do because I know this life isn't right I know it's not right or d'air for my princess to grow up in such an environment. We have to let go because we cannot cure them. 25 years down the drain defeated by a bottle. What a sad story :(

I know that it is. I just cannot seem to accept it. The only thing my husband cares about is whatever is in the bottle of choice for the day and where the next one is coming from. He is going to lose his family and his business that he built up from nothing almost 20 years ago. I am going to have to find a new job and we are going to have to move. My children are heartbroken and I cannot do anything to fix any of it. I am just gutted. Thank you for listening. I feel so alone right now.

You are not alone - thankfully this group exists so we can all take a moment of solace. I am sure you have support around you there. By setting boundaries we do not let ourselves be stepped on.
I agree the disease is so much stronger than any of their egos want to admit. Before I got married to my AH (yes I am an idiot for agreeing, I knew he was an alcoholic), he told me he was not going to drink on our wedding day. He wanted to be totally sober.
Well no big surprise the day of our marriage at 9AM he looked at me and said 'I can't do it' and grabbed a beer. let the good times roll ever since... I have bailed him out of so much credit card debt due to the drinking and he is clueless about any of it. We all have mirror stories I am sure but we also have each other to vent to .
Best wishes to you and your children. Put yourself into the top position of attention and let him sort it out.

Maybe he’ll be willing to do an impatient rehab. My AH was in one out of State for over a month best damn thing he could have done, and he was pretty bad before he left. He’s going on prob 3 months sober now but everyday I still worry but I’m hoping with time for things get better. I’m learning to work through it too, but it’s hard I’m not going to lie. His addiction has really screwed me up inside. I wish you all the luck and hope he’s willing to give it all to a higher power for all of your sake. ♥️

Thank you 2Irish and Faith for your responses. AH just got back from his 2nd detox in 2 weeks, insane I know. He refuses to go to a longer-term rehab because he owns his own business and he will lose it if he is not working. Which is a joke because he is drinking so much that he is going to lose his business anyway. He will not listen to reason. he got a DWI last week and I can see another soon if he keeps this up. He seems to be on a crash course to destruction and determined to go down in flames. It is unfortunate especially because we are all going down with him...he just does not care about anything. It amazes me that when I picked him up he was so clear-headed and seemed to have such a plan about what to do....and within hours it is all completely out the window. I am aware that he lies and needs a true rehab, The power that alcohol has on them is just amazing to me. I am so sad and angry sitting here waiting for disaster to strike. Thank you for listening.

Totally understand the feelings of hopelessness and despair. Maybe the two rounds at detox in 2 weeks will finally make him realize just how bad things are. My AH would rather be dead than give up drinking. He will probably get his wish and all I can do is watch the train wreck that is coming. Hugs and prayers to you as we all try to survive this nightmare we are living.

My dad was like that Rose351....He left the hospital being told that if he had another drink he was a dead man and went straight to the liquor store.
This disease robs them of all reason :( He was gone 6 months later.
As for AH, unfortunately, 2 detoxes in 2 weeks seem to have had zero effect on his state of mind. He is out working and no doubt driving around drunk as I write this. I don't know where he is or I would just call the cops. I figure maybe at some point they will actually lock him upand save him and everyone else from the destructive path he is on. but who knows? I am trying to find an apartment for me and my boys (that I truly cannot afford) and God knows what's going to happen when all of my husbands' customers realize that he won't be coming to deliver service that they have already paid for. I suppose that I will be partially on the line for that since I am married to him. I keep hoping I am going to wake up from this nightmare but that is not to be...I am so depressed. I have no idea how I am going to get through this. Strength and prayers to you too...I am sorry for all of us who live like this.

My dad died of alcoholism too. By the time he finally agreed to go into treatment his liver was shot and he had pancreatic cancer and died at age 59.
Your situation is so terrifying. I would be beside myself with worry if my AH was driving around drunk and about to lose his job due to the drinking. At least my AH just sits at home alone in a dark room drinking by himself and wants to be left alone unless he suddenly decides to get pissed off about something and fly into a rage. Really hope that you can find a place for you and your kids that is safe and away from his insanity. Hugs and prayers to you.

Thank you :)
I just got a call from the police and he actually got arrested for drunk driving today after getting into a minor accident. I am just beyond grateful that no one was hurt. I am so overwhelmed...I have so many things I need to do and I just want to curl up in a ball and cry.