I've tried the ignoring him when drunk (which is 98% of the time that he's home) it seemed to work in the beginning. He's still drinking however he was at least trying to be nice. I just get in these moods some days that I can't control my anger and resentment. He has been told that I don't want him touching me while he's drunk. I'm tired of feeling like its my wify duty to let him. I should be able to say NO don't without him getting angry and verbally bashing. He doesn't call me names but he will insinuate all kinds of reasoning why I don't want him. He just can't comprehend it's him and how patetic he is when he's drunk. The only peace I get is when he's not home or i'm not home. Unless I comfort him and pretend all is great. I try so hard to be the better person i'm not a saint but I pray daily and I try to go to church on Sundays for that extra lift. Yesterday I had full intentions of going home and not arguing just try to have a peaceful Sunday. I should have know that he was already drunk since he left in the middle of the night mad came home drunk then left early Sunday morning before I left for Church.... I walked in and lost it, he was making his lunch cheese, chips and salsa all over the counter. I did everything I could to make noise while he was watching his nascar race. He knew I was mad but why was I mad??? He actually started to blame my church for me being mad! They told me to be mad and mean to him... Thats when I completely lost my control, i'm so embrassed with myself. His alcohol is sucking me in as it has for years. I can't do this anymore I will not be defeated my this evil. After my rage I broke down and begged him to quit drinking. His response to me was he ddin't know how! We can't afford it! I will die soon! I give up all I can do is step back and let God. I don't want to be feel that rage again it was horrible. But now I will be myself I will love him but I will not let him cross the boundaries that I have set. I just need peace and I need to have a clear conscience if and when!