Short history.  Married my high school sweetheart at 23.  Had 2 kids by 27.  Have been married now 16 years.  They've been happy years minus the alcoholism that keeps rearing it's ugly head. I'll think my AH is on a sober path, and then it spirals out of control again.  We're currently in a broken place.  He's not mean or abusive, just drinks to the point of passing out and then misses everything that is orbiting around him.  Today we didn't get the Christmas tree up.  He slept right thru dinner.  He didn't tuck our children in bed.  I feel like a single parent, and I'm becoming bitter and increasingly angry.  I know there are underlying elements of depression, and he has severe abandonment issues from his childhood. I keep trying to figure out how long childhood  problems follow a person in life, but I'm beginning to understand the answer to that question is forever.  I've  tried everything I can to "fix" him.  He's been to AA.  Been seen by a therapist.  Went on antidepressants.  I've tried screaming.  I've tried crying.  He sobers up for a short time, but then he's back to hiding alcohol in the garage, and sneaking sips when he thinks I don't notice.  I can spot it from across the room when he's started drinking again.  I don't know why he bothers to hide it.  The only person he's fooling is himself.  I've lost some of my closest friends because social situations have become awkward.  Nobody knows how to act around an alcoholic.  Should they drink, shouldn't they drink?  It's easier to avoid the whole thing all together, and people are pulling away from us.  Why is his problem MY problem?  Why do I have to carry the worry and shame?  Why do I have to hide the real reason dad is "sleeping" at 6:00 pm again from the kids?  I decided today the burden is not mine to bear anymore.  I've given him 6 months to work toward sobriety, and if he hasn't made any progress in that time, then I will seek separation.  I'm going to be transparent and truthful to my kids, family, and close friends.  I'm hopeful that joining this support group, and other groups locally, will build up my resolve and my commitment to myself and my kids.  That even if in the end the only answer to this is to walk away, then I can do it with my head high knowing I gave it my all.  That I will understand that sometimes just loving someone isn't enough.  But guys, this sure hurts.