My boyfriend went on a 4-day booze and pills bender this past week/ weekend, which was incredibly hard for me to begin with. He didn't call for days, said "he'd be home in a few", and never showed. Got his family involved too. This is the hundredth time this has happened. And every time I've taken him back because I believe in him and "know he'll get better on his own". Wrong. He always acts up again, only worse and worse each time. I love him. He is a good person. Some of my best memories and life experiences ever have been by his side. But when he drinks he is the loudest, most foul, most degrading and disrespectful person I've ever known. But now that he's been admitted to an inpatient facility, I've started to reminisce on all of those happy times when he is sober. Long story short...I've kicked him out of my house and he's in a facility now. When he gets out, am I foolish to take him back and try again? I've only been met with heartbreak each prior time, but I'm just so faithful and in love. Do we have a chance or should I walk away when I have the opportunity?
I don't want to give you false hope. Addiction is a life long disease. There are people who live with it and make the right choices each day and those who can't. Did he choose to go for help? That's a huge step. Depending how long he will be there, this is perfect opportunity for you to do some soul searching. My AH went to rehab years ago and stayed sober 3 years. Best 3 years of our lives.
Take this time to think through the consequences of whichever decision you make. You have to live with it, so only you can decide.
I wish I could tell you to run for it, but I know it's not as easy as it sounds. No matter what you decide, you aren't foolish. Only you know your heart.
Use this time to experience life without him and maybe that will answer your question.
At least for today you don't have to worry.
God bless
He doesn't have to come back to your place upon discharge from his current facility. He could go live in a sober-living house. In fact, this is often what's recommended for the addict's/alcoholic's best chance at recovery, post-rehab. It would give both of you time and space to see if you want this relationship.
I echo what Cadeer said about today, you don't have to worry about this. Give yourself time to consider whether you want a relationship with this man. And do something lovely for yourself, today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Start making your own life your priority.
Take this time to think through the consequences of whichever decision you make. You have to live with it, so only you can decide.
I wish I could tell you to run for it, but I know it's not as easy as it sounds. No matter what you decide, you aren't foolish. Only you know your heart.
Use this time to experience life without him and maybe that will answer your question.
At least for today you don't have to worry.
God bless
I echo what Cadeer said about today, you don't have to worry about this. Give yourself time to consider whether you want a relationship with this man. And do something lovely for yourself, today, and tomorrow, and the next day. Start making your own life your priority.
Sending hugs